bittersweet

So i have a tough situation that I am going through. I need all the prayers you can muster up. I am someone that is pretty good with change, but that doesnt necessarily make it easy. I think the next couple months will be scary and sad and exciting and adventerous! I am finally going to start venturing into a new (yet old) profession. I will take on the experience with excitement and a little bittersweetness. It is something that i have longed to do for quite a while and now I finally get to try my hand at it, but I know it will be short-lived. But regardless what the future holds, I have to take this moment and learn and grow in it....because ultimately it will make me stronger person, and give me experience that will make me better in my chosen profession. TImes are tough...my company (the cake job) is basically going bankrupt -- and currently it doesnt scare me, cause frankly I dont think i will be there long enough to see it. Change is always scary..you come to a place that you have to start over and rebuild from almost scratch, then it always seems like when you finally have your feet knee-deep in the gunk..something happens and you get ripped out and have to start over all over again. Starting over isnt always bad, sometimes it is exactly what you want, takes you exactly where you want to be...but still isnt easy to do. Sometimes i feel like it would be easier to go back to high school and have no worries and not have to make big lofty life-changing decisions...but as i said..change isnt always bad, and honestly it rarely ever is. i am lucky to have such a wonderful, loving, supportive husband. My heart truly desires that you there could see him as i see him...see how much he loves and adores me and basically do anything in his power to make me happy. my heart is thrilled to have someone in my life that can see me--know me--and still love me despite myself.
Life is heart-breaking sometimes. People come in and out of your life for reasons you can only see in hinds sight. I have been lucky to keep most of those amazing people fairly close by. I am thankful for those friends that tell me how it is or how they think they see it because they love me and want the best for me. it is much harder to be on the other end of that spectrum...not knowing how to react, not knowing what to say --and having no control over making the pain go away. It breaks my heart to see people hurting...and it sucks even more when there is nothing I can do to make it better. I guess that is a ting of peace-maker in me.
I am asking that you pray..because if I believe in anything, it is the power of prayer. I want you to pray that everything will fall into place. That this new transition will be seamless and leave no doubt of it being the correct path. I want you to pray that I have wisdom in my decisions and that i could have the words to help and heal. Pray that the doors will open wide, that no one gets hurt in the process and that I could regain some sort of vision for my life, my purpose, my career, my love, and that I will truly find something that makes me happy.
I know I am talking in circles...but you can trust me.....