Wednesday, August 30, 2006

che che cheggit out....

I finally finished...I finished the website. They provided the address and everything, but i had to figure out what to put on the pages and insert LOTS of HTML code to make it look decent. it was a nice learning experience!!

http://chrissi.myarbonne.com

CP

Monday, August 21, 2006

8.21.2006

Greetings all.
Its been a while since I have blogged. Not that I dont have anything to say, just not much that i want to share with the world. I am doing well with Arbonne. Get discouraged sometimes, but i suppose that is normal. I have a lot on my plate right now, though today i officially finished my last project with Virtuallnk. Somewhat of a relief, but scary at the same time. I have an interview tomorrow and another one on Wednesday. I am not really sure what i want to do. Sorta want to go back into my comfort zone, but also feel the need to expand my zoning.
Been dealing with alot lately...just rushes of emotions with the new crossroad in life. Maybe one day ill figure out what i really want outta life. I can almost guarentee it wont be the norm.

Mrs.P

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Hmmmm

So this week Ruth Ann has been calling me at 5:30 in the morning to go walking. I have actually gone. This morning I got no call...I was somewhat disappointed and somewhat relieved because i went to bed sorta later than i would have liked. So now i should be working, I have made a lot of progress this week but still hate to send my stuff for review because of the critiques. I think i truly despise my job more every day. Nat keeps telling me to take classes and grow more and i will like it better. maybe if i knew what i was doing i would feel more comfortable and productive. I dont know. I think overall i am just frustrated in general. I hate taking my frustrations of life out on Nat. Its not his fault. I am not sure what i want. I want a friend to hang out with. I want to have people i can have deep thoughtful conversations that dont live 6 hours away. I want to grow spiritually. I want to be loved...i know i am loved. Nat is very good about loving me, and so are my friends in Ohio and elsewhere...but i am talking about being loved, for people to seek out to hang out with you because they think you are so cool. I have met people and they have my phone number but no one has really reached out. Brinlee reached out alot, and she is moving away. I thrive by people, and i feel so alone all the time. I sit in the house all day staring at a computer screen. I sit all night, mostly staring at a computer screen. I really miss the interaction with people. I almost feel like sometimes i forgot how to be around people. I am sure that is like riding a bike...
So we thought that maybe i could go work at CSE, not for CSE but just sit at a desk or something so that i am out of the house and around people. Its an option, but I am not too sure about it yet. It just doesnt feel comfortable to me. I think about getting another job, but then I also think of how much i have on my plate right now and that getting another job would just take away from the jobs i have now.
Arbonne is such a relief. I see the potential to make friends and hang out with people and make money. Its like the light at the end of the tunnel. I dont think Nat really knows what to think. I made my first order last night and I am officially an independant consultant. I have a number and a pin and everything. I am very excited. I think it may be what i am looking for to escape my current situation. Its hard to be proactive about your life and not have people babysit you through it. I really have to decide what I want and go for it despite others opinions or preconcieved notions.
Another cool note, I started the Breaking Free Beth Moore study again. I am not putting it on a daily schedule, thats too much pressure and guilt. I have done a couple days, talking about disobedient kings of judah. I have done it once before but i have a feeling that it will be EXTREMELY different this time around. My struggles are definately different. WE'll see how well that goes. I am not a very good Bible reader...nothing every really hits me. I guess part of me feels like i know it all already. Of course i dont.
anyway, i need to go get breakfast and get some work done so i feel productive and valid today. sad eh?
love you all..i am excited to see you next week.
Mrs.P