Been a long time

You would think with everything that has gone on In my life that this blog would be busting at the seams. Unfortunately time just slips out of my fingers and days, weeks, months go by and it seems like my whole world changes but I stay the same. I am still wrestling the same demons and losing the fight. If I was winning then there would be something to brag about. Since my last post I have become a nurse, a mother, a friend and a more devoted wife. Each day is hard though. I look to the mirror and I still see a failure. I still see all my weakness and self doubt. I feel like most days I am merely trying to keep my head above water. I don't have anymore to give to myself. I am not really sure anymore who I am or who I want to be. I have lost my faith and I think that the consequences of that penetrate everything else.

I feel a bit lost. Not sure what direction I should go in. And honestly I think I am more riding coattails then making my own path true.


Much love--
c