its weird being in a different city that you have never been in before and calling it home. i guess it would be easier to come home and just brush this off as vacation. but what would i have learned in that process. i like the city, there are some really cool spots that remind me of a mix between short vine and mt adams and hyde park...very urban outfitter-ish. that i like. its very carefree and peaceful...despite the fact it is in a city. i am sorta stressed out about the whole job situation...i feel very out of control. the last time i went to apply for a job was like 4 years ago...twice maybe in the last 10 years. and nothing that was super important. i am thinking about getting a job at urban outfitters on melrose...cool place to hang out i think...just a bit stressful....tell me again why i came here? remind me why i decided to turn my life upside down to come out of my comfort zone? was i so unhappy there? i feel lost at times because i know i am talented, yet unexpereinced, i know i am a great friend, yet shy away from people. one day i think i will get it...i dont think i will be famous, but i do want to be successful, just not sure yet in what. yesterday i was confident in being here, today i am getting more stressed and the guy (joe) is driving me crazy by just breathing. way too much time with one person (its not like israel with sisters and sa....hes a boy with a really abnoxious smoking habit and he says an expression i cant spell it..but sounds like a meow from a mafioso..ugh, if he says it ONE more time, i could smack him (i have that aggression boiling up in my stomach that i have a feeling is going to explode soon). i havent come to that point where i am missing people, but ya'll know me...may take me a little bit...only been a little over a week (though it has felt like months). breathe chrissi!! everything so far has worked out in my favor, and i think with all the prayers from the midwest and beyond, that God will take care of me. It was way too perfect of a trip and preparation of a trip to think in any way that i am not supposed to be here, just finding my niche. i should just take this time to re-evaluate. before life gets hectic with 5 jobs and no free time...to sit and breathe in the vacation. life is not about making money and paying bills...life is about living. i have to keep reminding myself that i work to live, not live to work...that people are incredible creatures worth time and consideration and that i dont want to be a selfish person in which my life revolves around how much money i have in my bank account. please continue to remind me of that...ill love you for it.
i need to go grocery shopping, too expensive to eat out all the time....cant handle it.
tried to open a checking account today, they said i couldnt until i got a CA license...there are other banks though, so no sweat.
tell me please what to do with my life...why do some people have it so easy? they just know or fall into something...i am the jack of all trades but the master of none, which should make me more marketable right? but they dont know me...they dont know my talents and abilities, and somehow i have to expose myself to them and convince them i am a good candidate, though sometimes i am not sure myself...Goal in life in LA...learn to have confidence in myself...easier said than done i am afraid.
love you all dearly
c.ALIce
2 comments:
I shall reiterate a previous statement: I am so proud of you. You are getting out, turning things upside down because you want to enjoy life. Congratulations, you are one of the few people that leave their comfort zones. I'm so proud of you love, you'll do great things.
Well, my recent acquaintance; I'm glad you made it. Live fully out there, and remember that those closest to you will always welcome you home. Keep the camera nearby, but, more importantly, keep your eyes and heart open for the good stuff. You can't always tell right away who's gonna make a difference in your life.
Randy (taking good care of your art on my living room walls in Mason, OH)
Post a Comment