doubt

i think i know why people that find jobs keep them until they die. i think i would still be working at encore if 1. it wasnt closed (although I am sure I would have just moved to North Carolina) 2. didnt move to CA, meet Nat, get married, move to AU. You know what I mean. When i look to find a job I become so self-conscious. I dont find myself as talented as others..or as qualified. I wonder if nursing is right for me. I consider just not going to school and get some random job at movie theatre or something just to add to income. Its not a career though.
I have been working in graphic design for 3 years, well on and off. I dont mind it, but there are SO many other talented people out there. I dont feel like I know the programs well enough, that I dont know all the rules involved. I guess I am good at it. They didnt seem to mind me at PJS. I consider nursing and then I clam out at the thought of certain aspects. Do i really think that bodily fluids are SO bad? I worked with restroom crew at PKI, can it get worse than that?
I have been keeping myself busy though. I clean house everyday. I have become QUITE domesticated. I wake up and cook Nat breakfast, make his lunch then clean, iron and laundry during the day, then when he gets home I make him dinner and pacify him for the rest of the night. I know he enjoys it. I dont mind it, but I feel this particular pressure to provide more "financially" -- I would like to have some kind of confidence in something that would make me feel worthy.
I guess with nursing I am thinking that I dont really have to "prove" myself. There is such a demand for nurses that it wont be a rat race to find employment. Seems like all the wrong reasons to do it -- but at this point in my life, I want to have some sort of stability in finding work. Its obvious that I need something that is easily obtained. With all the moving, I am sure it has effected my resume. I have not really kept a job for a long period of time, but you cant blame me. I am trying to settle, but life keeps moving.
I guess I could really use my time wisely. I mean it I am going to sit here all day, I might as well learn something. I have a list of things I need to do. I still need to commit some time to Temple Wedding pictures. Is it ok to mediocre at so much but not be spectacular at anything. maybe that is my problem.
I am talking in circles. I need to get off here and get something accomplished. Ill write later.