BLOG SOON!!!!
1. date with sisters.
2. food.
3. adventures.
4. awesome owners.
5. QUT.
6. Control Issues.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
beautiful and boorrringgg
so the house hunt is over and i can't car shop on my own. Nat goes to work at like 7.30am and gets home about 5.30pm. i am usually up before him in the morning and cant get back to sleep...yeah I know...totally out of character,but I imagine its like getting up at noon in the states =). Today I called around to car dealerships to see if the cars we looked at yesterday in the lots were still available. out of say 10 cars we considered, 6 were already sold. The car turnover is mind-blowing. Fortunately they have a deposit deal where you put down deposit of like $50 to hold the car so they wont sell it before you actually get a chance to see it. One cool aspect though is that they will actually bring the car you are interested in to your doorstep. Bad part about car shopping is that the dealerships close PRECISELY at 5pm. They do not mess around with closing time. Actually almost everything closes at 5pm...the mall, some grocery stores, department stores. There are few things to do after 6pm (and its dark by then too).
nat and i ran quickly to the grocery store at 6.55pm, it closed at 7pm. When we left, they practically had all the lights turned out and were prepared to lock the doors. Closing time is no funny business here. So nightlife is far and few between. I am not sure exactly what an aussie does when they get home from work and cant go shopping.
Its interesting to live in an environment that for the most part is very non-materialistic. There is just not a focus on it at all. They are also VERY enviromentally conscious. They just lifted the ban of using water to wash car or water yard, or anything else "wasteful" -- they have recycle pick up like US but I am sure here that they recycle bin is bigger than normal trash lol...
So Nat and I were really looking forward to dinner tonight, but unfortunately they cancelled on us. I can understand though, they are leaving on Wednesday and still have a lot to do, but I guess there were alot of setbacks today. Tomorrow we are going for mexican...i am sure it will not be anything like in US. I highly doubt they have crack dip, or even mexicans for that matter...would be QUITE the hike for them.
I have made lunch plans with Natalie, a friend of Robbie Ballmeyer. We finally communicated today and made plans. I am SO excited to meet her. She seems like she will be SO much fun to hang out with. What Aussie wouldnt be fun?!?!? They are so incredibly laid back and friendly. I am going to have to learn to be nice!!! I think she will be a great asset when it comes to decorating the new house. IKEA here we come!
So, I thought that selling everything was so liberating, but didnt realize all the esssentials we had to have. Our stuff wont get here till early July and it has everything for our kitchen..plates, cups, silverware, utencils. we have NOTHING. we went to IKEA and got some essentials. I am thinking on the way home we will have twice as much as we came with...i guess you can never get rid of all the STUFF.
It really is beautiful here. Every sunset is amazing and the sky seems like its so close. The moom seems bigger, the stars brighter...oh funny, imagine a sky WITHOUT orion! I really am on the other side of the world!
so its time for all you slackers to start blogging again...a thank you to the lovely abbi for starting up again. Love you much....
nat and i ran quickly to the grocery store at 6.55pm, it closed at 7pm. When we left, they practically had all the lights turned out and were prepared to lock the doors. Closing time is no funny business here. So nightlife is far and few between. I am not sure exactly what an aussie does when they get home from work and cant go shopping.
Its interesting to live in an environment that for the most part is very non-materialistic. There is just not a focus on it at all. They are also VERY enviromentally conscious. They just lifted the ban of using water to wash car or water yard, or anything else "wasteful" -- they have recycle pick up like US but I am sure here that they recycle bin is bigger than normal trash lol...
So Nat and I were really looking forward to dinner tonight, but unfortunately they cancelled on us. I can understand though, they are leaving on Wednesday and still have a lot to do, but I guess there were alot of setbacks today. Tomorrow we are going for mexican...i am sure it will not be anything like in US. I highly doubt they have crack dip, or even mexicans for that matter...would be QUITE the hike for them.
I have made lunch plans with Natalie, a friend of Robbie Ballmeyer. We finally communicated today and made plans. I am SO excited to meet her. She seems like she will be SO much fun to hang out with. What Aussie wouldnt be fun?!?!? They are so incredibly laid back and friendly. I am going to have to learn to be nice!!! I think she will be a great asset when it comes to decorating the new house. IKEA here we come!
So, I thought that selling everything was so liberating, but didnt realize all the esssentials we had to have. Our stuff wont get here till early July and it has everything for our kitchen..plates, cups, silverware, utencils. we have NOTHING. we went to IKEA and got some essentials. I am thinking on the way home we will have twice as much as we came with...i guess you can never get rid of all the STUFF.
It really is beautiful here. Every sunset is amazing and the sky seems like its so close. The moom seems bigger, the stars brighter...oh funny, imagine a sky WITHOUT orion! I really am on the other side of the world!
so its time for all you slackers to start blogging again...a thank you to the lovely abbi for starting up again. Love you much....
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Life in a day.
Today Nat and I decided to get up early and go car shopping. Nat currently has a loaner car from Hastings Deering but we really need to invest in our own car. We are having some issues at the moment. 1. There are not really any cars under $13-15,000. 2. We dont have that kind of money on hand. 3. They arent super keen on giving loans out to people like us. So we are sorta in a perdicament. I am sure we can figure something out, but it is becoming quite the hassle. I was hoping not to spend that kind of money on a car we will have for only 2 years, but its sort of a necessity.
After a couple hours daydreaming about what we couldnt afford we had an appointment to meet with the owners of the house again today. They are moving to Cairns and are packing up. It is unusual to have contact with the owners. Most transactions would go through the agent/property manager. We had a great chat with them the first time we met them and this time was no different. Again we were there for over 2 hours. They are attempting to get rid of some of their furniture, ie dining table, end tables, couch...and we were obliged to take it off their hands! =) We ended up with table with 6 chairs, 2 bar stools, 5 lazyboys (sorta like detachable sectional), tv stand, and one large and one small trendy coffee tables. We are negotiating for the fridge so we wont have to buy one of those (they dont come standard in AU). Overall it was a good deal. We went furniture shopping after we left and were relieved to have taken care of some big purchases without even having much of a hassle. I think they were relieved to get rid of them.
While chatting, we were discussing different locations that we should go and visit. Lisa (the wife) started making us a list. We arranged to have dinner on Monday night, where she promises a more defined list of local and New Zealand must-go-to spots. They really are a great couple and I hope we find more couple like them that arent moving far far away. They are very close to our age and are very trendy. He has worked as a graphic designer and currently makes these amazing cravings out of wood. Their house and all its decor (including furniture) fit right into my tastes and I can totally see how I will decorate. We sign our lease next Friday and then we can move in right away. We are trying to figure out our options of sleeping arrangements until our boat brings over our belongings.
So dinner plans on Monday with Lisa and Dean. Dinner plans on Tuesday with people from Nat's work. Campus visit to QUT on Wednesday. Thursday, no plans but I am sure shopping is involved. Friday sign for new house. Last night we had dinner at John's house (Nat's boss). We will still have hotel until following wednesday, so that will give us time to make arrangements for whatever we might need. We have more of a social life here than in the states!
I have a connection here through a friend that spent some time here in Brisbane a couple years ago. I am hoping to get together with her and be great friends! She has offered to be my tour guide. I am hoping also that she will be a great asset in finding a church home. She graduated from Cincinnati Bible Seminary and I am pretty sure her dad is in ministry here in Brisbane at a Baptist church, but I am SURE that it is structured WAY different than what I grew up with.
I feel like I may be leaving out some details, but I cant remember what I have emailed to my sisters and what I have wrote here. All well, I cant give ALL the details. I am outta here now, Nat and I are on our way to dinner and movie (Star Trek---what am I thinking?!?!?!).
Love you all....
Mrs. P
funny thought
I was trying to set up my voicemail on my phone and redid it like 10 times because i didnt want to sound like an aussie...=) its suttle, but its coming on! It doesnt help to hear the instructions with aussie accent then try to talk without sounding like one...at least for me.
"good day. sorry i missed you ringing. i'll try bout ringing you when i have a chance. no worries." LOL
After a couple hours daydreaming about what we couldnt afford we had an appointment to meet with the owners of the house again today. They are moving to Cairns and are packing up. It is unusual to have contact with the owners. Most transactions would go through the agent/property manager. We had a great chat with them the first time we met them and this time was no different. Again we were there for over 2 hours. They are attempting to get rid of some of their furniture, ie dining table, end tables, couch...and we were obliged to take it off their hands! =) We ended up with table with 6 chairs, 2 bar stools, 5 lazyboys (sorta like detachable sectional), tv stand, and one large and one small trendy coffee tables. We are negotiating for the fridge so we wont have to buy one of those (they dont come standard in AU). Overall it was a good deal. We went furniture shopping after we left and were relieved to have taken care of some big purchases without even having much of a hassle. I think they were relieved to get rid of them.
While chatting, we were discussing different locations that we should go and visit. Lisa (the wife) started making us a list. We arranged to have dinner on Monday night, where she promises a more defined list of local and New Zealand must-go-to spots. They really are a great couple and I hope we find more couple like them that arent moving far far away. They are very close to our age and are very trendy. He has worked as a graphic designer and currently makes these amazing cravings out of wood. Their house and all its decor (including furniture) fit right into my tastes and I can totally see how I will decorate. We sign our lease next Friday and then we can move in right away. We are trying to figure out our options of sleeping arrangements until our boat brings over our belongings.
So dinner plans on Monday with Lisa and Dean. Dinner plans on Tuesday with people from Nat's work. Campus visit to QUT on Wednesday. Thursday, no plans but I am sure shopping is involved. Friday sign for new house. Last night we had dinner at John's house (Nat's boss). We will still have hotel until following wednesday, so that will give us time to make arrangements for whatever we might need. We have more of a social life here than in the states!
I have a connection here through a friend that spent some time here in Brisbane a couple years ago. I am hoping to get together with her and be great friends! She has offered to be my tour guide. I am hoping also that she will be a great asset in finding a church home. She graduated from Cincinnati Bible Seminary and I am pretty sure her dad is in ministry here in Brisbane at a Baptist church, but I am SURE that it is structured WAY different than what I grew up with.
I feel like I may be leaving out some details, but I cant remember what I have emailed to my sisters and what I have wrote here. All well, I cant give ALL the details. I am outta here now, Nat and I are on our way to dinner and movie (Star Trek---what am I thinking?!?!?!).
Love you all....
Mrs. P
funny thought
I was trying to set up my voicemail on my phone and redid it like 10 times because i didnt want to sound like an aussie...=) its suttle, but its coming on! It doesnt help to hear the instructions with aussie accent then try to talk without sounding like one...at least for me.
"good day. sorry i missed you ringing. i'll try bout ringing you when i have a chance. no worries." LOL
Friday, May 08, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
I'm home
in a sense...if home is where your heart is and my heart belongs to Nat, then yeppers I am home. I am not sure how much I will be writing here, and mainly it will be regurgitated from other blog (http://natandchrissi.blogspot.com) so bookmark the other one if you want to have all the details.
Some things to consider.
1. If this is winter, I am hestitant of summer weather and DEFINATELY need to invest in shorts and skirts and throw away all my sweatshirts/security blankets.
2. Nat is miserable without me...coke and beer is all he has -- sounds like a bad Springer Episode.
3. If you want to stop drinking coke, move to AU. $3 for 20oz. Also, stop eating...$9 for sandwiches is sorta ridiculous. Also, dont smoke, you;ll go broke at nearly $10/pack. I imagine there arent many Aussies that eat out often, and if they do, they are millionaires.
4. There is a bird outside our villa that sounds like a chainsaw cutting up a small child.
5. No Koala sightings yet...crickey!
6. It is a new feeling when you get stared at while you talk...I wonder if aussies think US accents are as cool as we think aussie accents are. if they do, i wont conform and stay strong with US accent, just to be loved!
7. I have grocery shopping plans with Nat's boss's wife, Cheryl. At least I won't have to WALK!!
8. TV...hmm, honestly I dont think I will be watching much. They dont have grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Biggest Loser, NCIS...or anything else I watch.
9. MUSIC...no hiphop, top 40...from what I have heard, its all sorta electronic emo....all well, at least I have Etta James on my IPOD.
10. I am off house hunting...wish us luck and PRAY!!
Later
Chrissi
Some things to consider.
1. If this is winter, I am hestitant of summer weather and DEFINATELY need to invest in shorts and skirts and throw away all my sweatshirts/security blankets.
2. Nat is miserable without me...coke and beer is all he has -- sounds like a bad Springer Episode.
3. If you want to stop drinking coke, move to AU. $3 for 20oz. Also, stop eating...$9 for sandwiches is sorta ridiculous. Also, dont smoke, you;ll go broke at nearly $10/pack. I imagine there arent many Aussies that eat out often, and if they do, they are millionaires.
4. There is a bird outside our villa that sounds like a chainsaw cutting up a small child.
5. No Koala sightings yet...crickey!
6. It is a new feeling when you get stared at while you talk...I wonder if aussies think US accents are as cool as we think aussie accents are. if they do, i wont conform and stay strong with US accent, just to be loved!
7. I have grocery shopping plans with Nat's boss's wife, Cheryl. At least I won't have to WALK!!
8. TV...hmm, honestly I dont think I will be watching much. They dont have grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Biggest Loser, NCIS...or anything else I watch.
9. MUSIC...no hiphop, top 40...from what I have heard, its all sorta electronic emo....all well, at least I have Etta James on my IPOD.
10. I am off house hunting...wish us luck and PRAY!!
Later
Chrissi
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Our Adventure
Nat has done some great documenting of his first couple days in Brisbane. Go to http://natandchrissi.blogspot.com and check it out.
I would write a long blog about what is going on in my life, but 75% of it I cant share right this second...but you will know soon enough. I am sure most of you know already, but until there are more details, I am not at liberty to share.
Also, if you didnt know, I got accepted into Queensland University of Technology to study nursing. It is a 2-yr bachelors program and classes start on July 20th!
I would write a long blog about what is going on in my life, but 75% of it I cant share right this second...but you will know soon enough. I am sure most of you know already, but until there are more details, I am not at liberty to share.
Also, if you didnt know, I got accepted into Queensland University of Technology to study nursing. It is a 2-yr bachelors program and classes start on July 20th!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
new blogging...
so i know that i rarely write on here anymore. but i will be writing on http://natandchrissi.blogspot.com more about the adventures we have in AU. so fill free to bookmark or follow there as well...
i am excited about April 24 Girls Nite out!
i am excited about April 24 Girls Nite out!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Is it over yet?
I have not sat down and wrote a blog in a while and I felt like I was due. i am not really sure where to begin though. I have all these lists going through my head of things to do...mail taxes, fill out QUT application, go to bed...then the list for tomorrow...oh dear! When will it be over?
I chuckle because I have been without a job for nearly 3 months and still I fill up my day with so much stuff. Granted I am not sure how we would have handled this move if I would have had to work 40 hours a week. I have been quite the suzy homemaker...its not too shabby, but people SERIOUSLY need to learn to pick up after themselves.
A couple weeks ago, in an effort to help Cheryl, I decided to repaint the kitchen. We were trying to think of ways to make it look larger without a total remodel. There were these boxes above the cabinets that stuck out, served no purpose and I thought without them would make the kitchen appear taller ang bigger...plus give more space to store stuff. After tearing them all down, we realized why they were there in the first place. Apparently the previous owners...pre mom and dad (12 years ago) had a leak in the kitchen. Instead of fixing the leak, they put a metal pot in the attic to catch the water and built a casing above the cabinets. So by the time we took off the casing, the damage was done...and thus a GAPPING hole in the kitchen ceiling.
So I had been frantically trying to find someone to come fix the hole. I finally found someone and he is coming on Tuesday Morning to fix the hole, and some other stuff...this week. Then I have to paint the kitchen BEFORE the countertop guy comes to install the new countertop. SO the simple, painless repaint turned into an almost entire kitchen remodel. Little stressful.
Thursday morning we had the movers come and take away our stuff. Granted all we could really fit was the king sized bed and a couple boxes...minimalists now whether we like it or not!! All last week we also had a plumber come in and redo almost all cheryls plumbing plus some new fixtures and vanity (in exchange for 46" TV). I thought that was a good deal. Friday morning (which felt like Saturday ALL DAY) we finally sold our car to an adorable little couple from Morrow. Friday night we prepared the garage and work room for Moving Sale. Saturday we had moving sale from 8AM-3PM, but really 2PM (when people FINALLY STOPPED coming..it was a good day!). Then i went to accountant to pick up taxes...Is today Monday??? My back is killing me. I am so tired but my super comfy bed is gone and there is nothing that quite compares to it.
Becky let us borrow her car...THANK YOU JESUS, because otherwise I would have driven Nat to Peoria today, and driven back tomorrow so that Cheryl could have her car to get to work. Did I mention that also on top of all these things, I had a HardDrive (only backup to all my pictures, and i mean ALL) totally crash and die, and there is no way I am spending $1500-$4000 to get data recovered, cause I am not sure I have any emotions left to really care =). Dont worry, I have some DVD backups, but I have slacked alot lately...ooops.
So the outlook for the next three weeks
Kitchen will be finished...new walls, new countertops, new beautifulness
Nat will have his last day at Accenture and on plane to Australia
I will know for sure and maybe all this will finally sink in.
Next six weeks
Nat will be gone
I will shoot wedding
I will be on a plane to Australia...
I am sure there is way more than that happening...need to somehow fit in trip to Peoria and Kentucky and see some friends and finish packing stuff to store and get taxes back...OK, so maybe when I get to Australia it will settle down...HAHAAH ya know after I find a place to live, a car to drive, the bus system, a job, possibly school...hahahahahah...2009 is KICKING MY ASS!!
So I am leaving on May 4. April 10 we are having a going away shindig at Hofbrauhaus in Newport...good Friday i know, but there really werent any other dates feasible. We need to schedule a slumber party...so the countdown to my departure has begun....35 days and counting...
I am shocked how seamless everything is falling together.
I chuckle because I have been without a job for nearly 3 months and still I fill up my day with so much stuff. Granted I am not sure how we would have handled this move if I would have had to work 40 hours a week. I have been quite the suzy homemaker...its not too shabby, but people SERIOUSLY need to learn to pick up after themselves.
A couple weeks ago, in an effort to help Cheryl, I decided to repaint the kitchen. We were trying to think of ways to make it look larger without a total remodel. There were these boxes above the cabinets that stuck out, served no purpose and I thought without them would make the kitchen appear taller ang bigger...plus give more space to store stuff. After tearing them all down, we realized why they were there in the first place. Apparently the previous owners...pre mom and dad (12 years ago) had a leak in the kitchen. Instead of fixing the leak, they put a metal pot in the attic to catch the water and built a casing above the cabinets. So by the time we took off the casing, the damage was done...and thus a GAPPING hole in the kitchen ceiling.
So I had been frantically trying to find someone to come fix the hole. I finally found someone and he is coming on Tuesday Morning to fix the hole, and some other stuff...this week. Then I have to paint the kitchen BEFORE the countertop guy comes to install the new countertop. SO the simple, painless repaint turned into an almost entire kitchen remodel. Little stressful.
Thursday morning we had the movers come and take away our stuff. Granted all we could really fit was the king sized bed and a couple boxes...minimalists now whether we like it or not!! All last week we also had a plumber come in and redo almost all cheryls plumbing plus some new fixtures and vanity (in exchange for 46" TV). I thought that was a good deal. Friday morning (which felt like Saturday ALL DAY) we finally sold our car to an adorable little couple from Morrow. Friday night we prepared the garage and work room for Moving Sale. Saturday we had moving sale from 8AM-3PM, but really 2PM (when people FINALLY STOPPED coming..it was a good day!). Then i went to accountant to pick up taxes...Is today Monday??? My back is killing me. I am so tired but my super comfy bed is gone and there is nothing that quite compares to it.
Becky let us borrow her car...THANK YOU JESUS, because otherwise I would have driven Nat to Peoria today, and driven back tomorrow so that Cheryl could have her car to get to work. Did I mention that also on top of all these things, I had a HardDrive (only backup to all my pictures, and i mean ALL) totally crash and die, and there is no way I am spending $1500-$4000 to get data recovered, cause I am not sure I have any emotions left to really care =). Dont worry, I have some DVD backups, but I have slacked alot lately...ooops.
So the outlook for the next three weeks
Kitchen will be finished...new walls, new countertops, new beautifulness
Nat will have his last day at Accenture and on plane to Australia
I will know for sure and maybe all this will finally sink in.
Next six weeks
Nat will be gone
I will shoot wedding
I will be on a plane to Australia...
I am sure there is way more than that happening...need to somehow fit in trip to Peoria and Kentucky and see some friends and finish packing stuff to store and get taxes back...OK, so maybe when I get to Australia it will settle down...HAHAAH ya know after I find a place to live, a car to drive, the bus system, a job, possibly school...hahahahahah...2009 is KICKING MY ASS!!
So I am leaving on May 4. April 10 we are having a going away shindig at Hofbrauhaus in Newport...good Friday i know, but there really werent any other dates feasible. We need to schedule a slumber party...so the countdown to my departure has begun....35 days and counting...
I am shocked how seamless everything is falling together.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
itchy feet
Or so you would think. I never really did imagine that my life would end up like this, although in my head I always dreamed about it. I have a wonderful husband, that does more than just sit and look pretty and love me...he truly does stretch me to places and to do things that I dreamed about, but could never do on my own. I guess I did find my soulmate. I think that is the definition right?
I think I am going to stop trying to figure myself out. I think that I have a solid idea, then I get thrown all these curve balls. I thought I didnt want to do photography full time, but I have potential for up to 5 weddings this year alone. But most of those probably will fall through (and to no fault of my brides, my fault for not being here). I really have to weigh my options at this point to be here or go and when and how. More on that later.
I thought 2008 was going to be the whirlwind year. In January I thought to myself, this year is going to be crazy, and in ways it was. I went to Egypt, fulfilled a year at PJS, dabbled more into photography and moved to Ohio...one of which definately wasnt planned. 2009 is proving already to beat the shit outta 2008 and its not even March. I have already been to Phoenix, dabbled and had more opps for photography gigs, still "jobless", starting STNA school, applied for Nursing school is US (and abroad), had pretty amazing (in my book) surgery, and now on the verge of possibly moving again...did i mention its NOT EVEN MARCH!!! It really is mind-boggling how my life just unravels. I get this ideal in my head of what life is going to look like, get settled in it a little bit, then BAM! it unravels...not even in a bad way though...good thing that although I am not always thrilled with change, I am not afraid of it to the point that I sit idle. (although I am sure without Nat holding my hand, I would be sitting pretty right here forever!!).
SO the news will come. At some point it will be open knowledge and I will be able to share so much more about what is going on (although some of you I am sure have pieced it together)---but it is still not definate, set in stone, contracted so we need to play it safe and protect what is ours now before we spill the beans and it doesnt work out. i cant imagine how it would NOT work. The waiting is torture. I guess I consider myself a patient person, though some would disagree, I think overall I can hold my own. I am holding out...and it sucks.
When we moved to Cincinnati, we talked about the possiblities on August 18, by Sept 15 we were packing up our house and driving out of town. Everything just fell into place in no time...not alot of waiting or stalls...job ok'd it, found awesome renters, it was amazing. I wonder if all that brought us to this, even without us knowing it. We are in a fabulous position to take this oppurtunity. 6 months ago, this would have been impossible. that is crazy to me.
I guess some people are like that, they can just get up and go, while others are more stable. Stable is not bad...those people are awesome...gives us wild seeds a place to settle for a while. I wish I could give them wings to fly, but maybe they just arent meant to. It takes practice to be risky, and as many times as you do it, it is still the most UNNERVING thing ever. I want to settle down one day. I want to live in the same area for more than a year. I am getting weary of moving and change, but I have had my fill over the last couple years. I just want to catch my breath. I sorta know something about myself though...as much as i think i want to stand and catch my breath, once i took a deep breath and had a chance to look around a bit, i would want to go again. Maybe I am a little harsh on people...but I think its because I want everyone to be like me; with no cares or responsibilities...but even as i get older, I see more and more of that slipping away. Life is meaningless without something to work towards or having purpose. Some peoples purposes are simple to be where they are needed, and others have "itchy feet" and just need to get out and go.
So take this encouragement. Dont try to be anything you are not, but at the same time, dont let anyone keep you (including yourself!) from being who you want to be. You alone are in control of your own happiness and destiny. In the most basic of terms.."fend for yourself"
Thats it
c.ALIce
I think I am going to stop trying to figure myself out. I think that I have a solid idea, then I get thrown all these curve balls. I thought I didnt want to do photography full time, but I have potential for up to 5 weddings this year alone. But most of those probably will fall through (and to no fault of my brides, my fault for not being here). I really have to weigh my options at this point to be here or go and when and how. More on that later.
I thought 2008 was going to be the whirlwind year. In January I thought to myself, this year is going to be crazy, and in ways it was. I went to Egypt, fulfilled a year at PJS, dabbled more into photography and moved to Ohio...one of which definately wasnt planned. 2009 is proving already to beat the shit outta 2008 and its not even March. I have already been to Phoenix, dabbled and had more opps for photography gigs, still "jobless", starting STNA school, applied for Nursing school is US (and abroad), had pretty amazing (in my book) surgery, and now on the verge of possibly moving again...did i mention its NOT EVEN MARCH!!! It really is mind-boggling how my life just unravels. I get this ideal in my head of what life is going to look like, get settled in it a little bit, then BAM! it unravels...not even in a bad way though...good thing that although I am not always thrilled with change, I am not afraid of it to the point that I sit idle. (although I am sure without Nat holding my hand, I would be sitting pretty right here forever!!).
SO the news will come. At some point it will be open knowledge and I will be able to share so much more about what is going on (although some of you I am sure have pieced it together)---but it is still not definate, set in stone, contracted so we need to play it safe and protect what is ours now before we spill the beans and it doesnt work out. i cant imagine how it would NOT work. The waiting is torture. I guess I consider myself a patient person, though some would disagree, I think overall I can hold my own. I am holding out...and it sucks.
When we moved to Cincinnati, we talked about the possiblities on August 18, by Sept 15 we were packing up our house and driving out of town. Everything just fell into place in no time...not alot of waiting or stalls...job ok'd it, found awesome renters, it was amazing. I wonder if all that brought us to this, even without us knowing it. We are in a fabulous position to take this oppurtunity. 6 months ago, this would have been impossible. that is crazy to me.
I guess some people are like that, they can just get up and go, while others are more stable. Stable is not bad...those people are awesome...gives us wild seeds a place to settle for a while. I wish I could give them wings to fly, but maybe they just arent meant to. It takes practice to be risky, and as many times as you do it, it is still the most UNNERVING thing ever. I want to settle down one day. I want to live in the same area for more than a year. I am getting weary of moving and change, but I have had my fill over the last couple years. I just want to catch my breath. I sorta know something about myself though...as much as i think i want to stand and catch my breath, once i took a deep breath and had a chance to look around a bit, i would want to go again. Maybe I am a little harsh on people...but I think its because I want everyone to be like me; with no cares or responsibilities...but even as i get older, I see more and more of that slipping away. Life is meaningless without something to work towards or having purpose. Some peoples purposes are simple to be where they are needed, and others have "itchy feet" and just need to get out and go.
So take this encouragement. Dont try to be anything you are not, but at the same time, dont let anyone keep you (including yourself!) from being who you want to be. You alone are in control of your own happiness and destiny. In the most basic of terms.."fend for yourself"
Thats it
c.ALIce
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Life and its Twists
So i havent blogged in a while. I am sure there is much i should share on her, but being i am such a private person, i decide not to. There has been much change in 2009 and possibility of much more. I am not thrilled with the waiting game, but i am trying to stay supportive. I start my STNA course in March. It is a 3 week course that will get me a certification to hopefully get me a job. Nursing pre-reqs start in april at cinci state...so i will most likely definately be here till June (if the decision is yes to go).
I am still trying to take it easy. I am sore when i overdo it, but I am anxious to get back to normal life.
I have been a non-smoker for more than 40 days and the desire to go buy a pack of smokes has been almost unbearable the last couple days. I thought those were supposed to go away!! I have not failed though, so i guess we can see if I have actually accomplished one of my lifelong goals. Only like 1000 more on the list.
I need to study for GRE, but at this point I am procrastinating because I dont know what tomorrow holds..but I should really take advantage of this oppurtunity to be able to study without other distractions.
Body...Soul...Mind...thats what I am working on...
I am thinking about getting back into church. I really should...i have spurts and i need a refresher course in Godliness. I am thinking the vineyard, but have become to lazy to drive that far...maybe monroe vineyard..maybe ill try that tomorrow. Its more about community right?
all well...just thought i would give a mini update.
bye
I am still trying to take it easy. I am sore when i overdo it, but I am anxious to get back to normal life.
I have been a non-smoker for more than 40 days and the desire to go buy a pack of smokes has been almost unbearable the last couple days. I thought those were supposed to go away!! I have not failed though, so i guess we can see if I have actually accomplished one of my lifelong goals. Only like 1000 more on the list.
I need to study for GRE, but at this point I am procrastinating because I dont know what tomorrow holds..but I should really take advantage of this oppurtunity to be able to study without other distractions.
Body...Soul...Mind...thats what I am working on...
I am thinking about getting back into church. I really should...i have spurts and i need a refresher course in Godliness. I am thinking the vineyard, but have become to lazy to drive that far...maybe monroe vineyard..maybe ill try that tomorrow. Its more about community right?
all well...just thought i would give a mini update.
bye
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Its only been a week?!??!?!
I feel like I have wasted away months of my life sitting and doing nothing...and its only been a week. I havent left the house in a week! AN ENTIRE WEEK!! Pathetic! Tomorrow I have a Dr. Appt so that will get me up and at 'em. But nothing else too interesting. I need to dedicate some time to study for GRE and getting my classes set up and ready to go. I have a long list of things to do and I feel like the time is speeding by and I am getting nothing accomplished, but its only been A WEEK!!! it is the weirdest thing really. I just want life to go back to normal a bit.
So I need to figure out when to take a little visit up to Peoria to visit with the in laws. I am a bad relative I think. I am thinking sometime in February or late March. My STNA classes will be 2.5 weeks in March, so maybe before that or shortly after...depending on when the rest of my classes start...I have to figure out who to give my references to...who would like to be my professional reference? anyone?
So I need to figure out when to take a little visit up to Peoria to visit with the in laws. I am a bad relative I think. I am thinking sometime in February or late March. My STNA classes will be 2.5 weeks in March, so maybe before that or shortly after...depending on when the rest of my classes start...I have to figure out who to give my references to...who would like to be my professional reference? anyone?
Monday, January 12, 2009
Test of Will...
The more I am here at the PPA conference, the more I realize that this is not what I want to do as a career. It is like dreaming to be a rockstar. I would be an excellent rockstar, I have all the great qualities, the talent and the equipment, but I would find more delight in singing what I want to.
The Photographers here are very talented. They are smart and personable...they take great pics and more importantly, they have great retouching abilities. I suppose I am one of those people that runs from things. I fear the failure, but I think more than most, I see the reality of it. When I met Nat, I worked through my fears and once I decided on it, I gave it my all. It was something that I wanted, something I knew would make me happy and I wasn't going to settle for anyone else, despite the issues that we have...its worth it. I don't necessary run from challenges, they just have to be the "right" challenges" I don't want to compromise myself for anything.
When I first decided to go to art school I envied all the people that were trained from elementary school to be artists. People that spent all their spare time and effort perfecting their art. They were fantastic at it too. Their images were miraculous and breath-taking. I font want to take pictures because I am forced to, I want to create images that I want to. I loved art school, but it had less to do with photography and more to do with opening my eyes to see the world in a new light. My most favorite project was the self-portrait one...that is what the angel wings on chairs came from...and then the sculpture classes...I enjoyed it so much because it was art...no matter how much you loved it or hated it..it was a true expression of me. I do not have images floating through my head of toddlers in Tu-Tu's...I desire something WAY deeper than that. I want my soul to be exposed...in my own way, and in a way that is complicated and unexplainable. The thing I loved most about art school was that sense of self-expression...of letting out all that I have bottled in. I have art projects in my head...
I admit that I am talented. I can see things most people cant. I can translate images...but to me it has gotten to many rules in it. I have become my own worse critic. I think one day I will wake up and think that i will love it all over again, but then I am at a point in my life where I cant decide if I ever loved it to begin with or if I adopted that idea to be "that person" others thought I should be, rather than who I truly wanted to be.
I go through phases in life. I am definitely in a self-exploration phase. rethinking why i do what i do, why i shied away from things i shied away from. I want my life, my profession to mean something. I don't want to go through the motions.
Even the CONSIDERATION of nursing school scares the shit out of me. taking the GRE and all that studying and hard work. Up to this point in life, I have never really stretched myself. I majored in Photography...seriously, how hard could a fine art degree be? It was cake. It was a safe bet... there was no putting myself out there, no challenge...i chose it because I knew I could do it.
I am discovering all these aspects of myself that i think I may have inherently knew but suppressed because it wasn't what others wanted. As much as i like the freedom to do what I want...freedom does not work well for me. I need structure. I get NOTHING accomplished if it was up to me to do it. I learn better in a class. I have tried to teach myself several different languages and I barely know English. I do just enough to get by, just enough to say i know something special. I know just enough of a lot of things to "get by". I have never accomplished anything that was hard or challenging. I have been "trying" to lose weight since I was in high school. I have failed miserably for 15 years...why? because it is hard...its a challenge and no matter how bad I want it...I keep myself from accomplishing it because I like the safety of not having to deal with it.
There is a change...I am oddly motivated to take the GRE. I am determined to do everything I can to score high and get into nursing school. I have always been fascinated with the human body, but for some reason i didn't take many biology courses. I remember doing a project in college based on the human structure and its intricate and amazing design. It offers stability, it offers structure, it offers significance. Working with souls, being in an every changing community and being in a position to serve. I have always reminisced the best times of my life were times and jobs that "served" people. Although being a servant is a menial job, putting yourself under someone, in a very real way it is the opposite. Being able to provide for someones needs and wants is like being a CEO of P&G. It is a profession of a self-sense of respect...knowing that you became something to someone that most people would never do. Maybe I have a twisted sense...but it makes sense to me. It is a position of power...like allowing someone to go before you in line, it is not because you think they are better and more deserving, but because YOU regard them as significant and by grace you allow them to shine above you. Not because they are all worthy, not because they did anything to deserve, but because you DECIDED it to be. It is the power of God working in someone to serve in that role. It is not natural or self-glorifying to anyone but to the heart of the servant.
I have spent the better part of this week trying to figure out a schedule to get into nursing school, do all the pre-reqs (and pre-reqs to pre-reqs) and contemplating the profound thought of taking a large test that determines my worth. I read a book...Nat almost fainted. it was a good book (the shack) but just the completion of something. I have not read a book cover to cover in almost 10 years (2000)--and NEVER NEVER NEVER in one sitting!
So here is a list of truths I think I have discovered in my life. They may not be etched in stone, but its a start of asking really hard questions and answering them based on ME and my beliefs, my convictions and what I know about me.
1. I am not inclined to artistic ventures, I have a nature for it, but I do not love going to art museums or sitting around drawing or painting. Art for me is for me, and the thought of it suits me just as well as actually doing it.
2. I have no desire to sell myself for profit. If I was actually good at selling Arbonne or MaryKay or Pampered Chef or etc..i think I would do wonders in my life. But right now I don't feel my worth is marketable or have too much of a heart to serve to be able to charge someone for a service!
3. I require stability, consistency and do NOT like change or the unknown.
4. I love to serve. I am the happiest when I am.
5. People enrich my life and give me purpose, not what they offer me, but what I OFFER THEM.
6. My hearts passion is to light up others lives...i delight in making people feel better.
7. My heart yearns for joy and peace...not because life is easy, but because it is meaningful. That joy and peace can only come from above.
8. I do not seek adventure. I play it safe. I do not like the thought of skydiving, riding on a motorcycle, jet-skiing or anything remotely dangerous that gives me the sense of not being in control.
9. I have a very strong will, but I am more strong willed to fail than succeed (that i dont like about myself). I have what it takes to succeed and the ability to change.
10. I strive to be around people, they ignite my senses. I feel numb and worthless when I am alone or by myself for too long. I am a waste of time...people are the drive, motivation and purpose.
11. I am strong.
12. I am more intelligent than I give myself credit.
13. I lose vision when i focus on others (envying them or comparing myself to their success)
14. Love motivates me and gives me strength.
15. I no longer refuse to fail at my goals.
16. I love to learn about things i am passionate about...i desire to dissect and learn every knick and kranny I can.
17. I am compulsive about order and details.
18. I am young enough to change the course of my life. Where I have been has brought me to where i am that leads me to where I need to be.
19. I regret nothing, everything, whether accomplished fully or not has a specific purpose.
20. I am pure, sincere, loyal and compassionate.
21. I am beautiful inside and out, as i am today.
22. I am a secretive person, I do not share alot of things I struggle with because of my fear of failure, or because I innately desire the "shock factor".
That is my list so far. Feel free to add your own intuition, even if it is something you know but cant see.
I think that is all for today. Quite and extensive nugget of my heart...carry it with pride! =)
love you all and am thrilled that you have kept up with the blogging.
The Photographers here are very talented. They are smart and personable...they take great pics and more importantly, they have great retouching abilities. I suppose I am one of those people that runs from things. I fear the failure, but I think more than most, I see the reality of it. When I met Nat, I worked through my fears and once I decided on it, I gave it my all. It was something that I wanted, something I knew would make me happy and I wasn't going to settle for anyone else, despite the issues that we have...its worth it. I don't necessary run from challenges, they just have to be the "right" challenges" I don't want to compromise myself for anything.
When I first decided to go to art school I envied all the people that were trained from elementary school to be artists. People that spent all their spare time and effort perfecting their art. They were fantastic at it too. Their images were miraculous and breath-taking. I font want to take pictures because I am forced to, I want to create images that I want to. I loved art school, but it had less to do with photography and more to do with opening my eyes to see the world in a new light. My most favorite project was the self-portrait one...that is what the angel wings on chairs came from...and then the sculpture classes...I enjoyed it so much because it was art...no matter how much you loved it or hated it..it was a true expression of me. I do not have images floating through my head of toddlers in Tu-Tu's...I desire something WAY deeper than that. I want my soul to be exposed...in my own way, and in a way that is complicated and unexplainable. The thing I loved most about art school was that sense of self-expression...of letting out all that I have bottled in. I have art projects in my head...
I admit that I am talented. I can see things most people cant. I can translate images...but to me it has gotten to many rules in it. I have become my own worse critic. I think one day I will wake up and think that i will love it all over again, but then I am at a point in my life where I cant decide if I ever loved it to begin with or if I adopted that idea to be "that person" others thought I should be, rather than who I truly wanted to be.
I go through phases in life. I am definitely in a self-exploration phase. rethinking why i do what i do, why i shied away from things i shied away from. I want my life, my profession to mean something. I don't want to go through the motions.
Even the CONSIDERATION of nursing school scares the shit out of me. taking the GRE and all that studying and hard work. Up to this point in life, I have never really stretched myself. I majored in Photography...seriously, how hard could a fine art degree be? It was cake. It was a safe bet... there was no putting myself out there, no challenge...i chose it because I knew I could do it.
I am discovering all these aspects of myself that i think I may have inherently knew but suppressed because it wasn't what others wanted. As much as i like the freedom to do what I want...freedom does not work well for me. I need structure. I get NOTHING accomplished if it was up to me to do it. I learn better in a class. I have tried to teach myself several different languages and I barely know English. I do just enough to get by, just enough to say i know something special. I know just enough of a lot of things to "get by". I have never accomplished anything that was hard or challenging. I have been "trying" to lose weight since I was in high school. I have failed miserably for 15 years...why? because it is hard...its a challenge and no matter how bad I want it...I keep myself from accomplishing it because I like the safety of not having to deal with it.
There is a change...I am oddly motivated to take the GRE. I am determined to do everything I can to score high and get into nursing school. I have always been fascinated with the human body, but for some reason i didn't take many biology courses. I remember doing a project in college based on the human structure and its intricate and amazing design. It offers stability, it offers structure, it offers significance. Working with souls, being in an every changing community and being in a position to serve. I have always reminisced the best times of my life were times and jobs that "served" people. Although being a servant is a menial job, putting yourself under someone, in a very real way it is the opposite. Being able to provide for someones needs and wants is like being a CEO of P&G. It is a profession of a self-sense of respect...knowing that you became something to someone that most people would never do. Maybe I have a twisted sense...but it makes sense to me. It is a position of power...like allowing someone to go before you in line, it is not because you think they are better and more deserving, but because YOU regard them as significant and by grace you allow them to shine above you. Not because they are all worthy, not because they did anything to deserve, but because you DECIDED it to be. It is the power of God working in someone to serve in that role. It is not natural or self-glorifying to anyone but to the heart of the servant.
I have spent the better part of this week trying to figure out a schedule to get into nursing school, do all the pre-reqs (and pre-reqs to pre-reqs) and contemplating the profound thought of taking a large test that determines my worth. I read a book...Nat almost fainted. it was a good book (the shack) but just the completion of something. I have not read a book cover to cover in almost 10 years (2000)--and NEVER NEVER NEVER in one sitting!
So here is a list of truths I think I have discovered in my life. They may not be etched in stone, but its a start of asking really hard questions and answering them based on ME and my beliefs, my convictions and what I know about me.
1. I am not inclined to artistic ventures, I have a nature for it, but I do not love going to art museums or sitting around drawing or painting. Art for me is for me, and the thought of it suits me just as well as actually doing it.
2. I have no desire to sell myself for profit. If I was actually good at selling Arbonne or MaryKay or Pampered Chef or etc..i think I would do wonders in my life. But right now I don't feel my worth is marketable or have too much of a heart to serve to be able to charge someone for a service!
3. I require stability, consistency and do NOT like change or the unknown.
4. I love to serve. I am the happiest when I am.
5. People enrich my life and give me purpose, not what they offer me, but what I OFFER THEM.
6. My hearts passion is to light up others lives...i delight in making people feel better.
7. My heart yearns for joy and peace...not because life is easy, but because it is meaningful. That joy and peace can only come from above.
8. I do not seek adventure. I play it safe. I do not like the thought of skydiving, riding on a motorcycle, jet-skiing or anything remotely dangerous that gives me the sense of not being in control.
9. I have a very strong will, but I am more strong willed to fail than succeed (that i dont like about myself). I have what it takes to succeed and the ability to change.
10. I strive to be around people, they ignite my senses. I feel numb and worthless when I am alone or by myself for too long. I am a waste of time...people are the drive, motivation and purpose.
11. I am strong.
12. I am more intelligent than I give myself credit.
13. I lose vision when i focus on others (envying them or comparing myself to their success)
14. Love motivates me and gives me strength.
15. I no longer refuse to fail at my goals.
16. I love to learn about things i am passionate about...i desire to dissect and learn every knick and kranny I can.
17. I am compulsive about order and details.
18. I am young enough to change the course of my life. Where I have been has brought me to where i am that leads me to where I need to be.
19. I regret nothing, everything, whether accomplished fully or not has a specific purpose.
20. I am pure, sincere, loyal and compassionate.
21. I am beautiful inside and out, as i am today.
22. I am a secretive person, I do not share alot of things I struggle with because of my fear of failure, or because I innately desire the "shock factor".
That is my list so far. Feel free to add your own intuition, even if it is something you know but cant see.
I think that is all for today. Quite and extensive nugget of my heart...carry it with pride! =)
love you all and am thrilled that you have kept up with the blogging.
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