tiff and i got into an argument the other day (right before she left for vacation) because i said i wanted to move home and she thought i was deserting her...like i would leave without making sure she was taken care of, or had another roommate. she said the worst aspect i have is that i cant decide on anything and that i am always going back and forth and doubting myself allthe time. i told her its "one of many" she said that i am 26 and i should know what i want to do with my life...seriously? unfortunately i am not like others that have it all figured out. i want to do so many things that i dont know what i want to do. and being able to be successful at anything doesnt help. i am overall happy here, though i hate not having a job....i feel so useless, it was nice at first, like a
drawn out vacation, but now i feel the pressure to get on with life, and although i always find something to occupy my time, i would much rather be making money at it. i am working towards it though. baby steps right? not used to that...used to be given everything i ever needed, and working only slightly towards it. it was the best decision to get outta cincinnati, but i dont like LA. i think it was good to do, but the good part was realizing i really didnt have to. its ok i guess, and Nessa is my saving grace...my only friend and the one i hang out with all the time. otherwise i work a little and sit at home trying to figure out how to work other things out in my life. tomorrow i am going to call around to photographers to see if they need assistants. i am sick of waiting around for kristin to tell me i have a job....i will NEVER do that again!
4 comments:
Hey little sis!!! I can hear the stress in your words. You are so brave to try something most of us would only talk about trying. If we even allowed ourselves debate the decision. One of the best things about trying new and different things are the possibilies of loving it or hating it. Whichever it is, you've still learned something through the process. God made each one of unique and different. He loved us too much not to make us robots-- he made us individuals in His image!! Don't be afraid to follow your heart... if it leads to LA, FL, or Australia (just joking you cant go that far away). God is always with you. He will protect you. He will lead you. Stop and listen to where He is leading you. No matter what you decision we will always love and support you-- and in some ways envy you the courage to step out completely in faith and follow your heart and give this life all you've got!!!
dear i don't really know anyone that knows what they want in life. the thing is life is always changing. a person is always growing. to me it makes sense that our desires, wants, locations, etc change and grow to.
don't worry about what tif or anyone else says....just do what you are supposed to do. if you are supposed to move another 10 times in a year just make sure to forward your mail :)
love ya girlie
YOU MEAN THERE ARE 26 YR OLDS THAT HAVE FIGURED OUT WHAT TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES?! *gasps* I want to meet them. I want their secret- it's evidently a secret bc there are SO MANY of us who DON'T KNOW! Hello, we are 26- we have at least 50 or 60 yrs ahead of us. Why rush it is what I say... So, yah. This not having a job thing is wearing itself thin here too... Hey, maybe you should move to Kentucky or you and I can move to North Carolina? ahahahah I love you. I really love you and I miss you. I am praying babes.
I never said that Chrissi should have it all figured out (gotta love misquotes) only that she makes decisions, and then doesn't have faith in the amazingly talented person that she is and starts doubting herself and making an alternate gameplan before she's even given the first one a chance to blossom. It wasn't meant as a putdown...but more as a sort of tough encouragement. I think Chrissi is one of the most gifted people I've ever known, and it makes me sad when she doubt herself so much. That's all.
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