Monday, July 25, 2005
ill never survive
i will never survive in life if i continually run from conflict. I write on this thing, then i think about what i wrote for hours on end. through out this whole situation, i keep realizing that i am willing to let go of a friend in lew of trying to deal with an argument. tiff and i have been friends for a very long time, despite our differences, that is what makes our friendship special. it is not because we have everything in common, but it is because we have really nothing in common (though we do), that makes the friendship unique. i truly do cherish her. we have somehow remained friends over a very long period of time. and i think about it, and part of me wants to shut down and run away and not have to deal with it, yet part of my realizes how immature that is. this is really the first fight tiff and i have been in, and honestly, i am not used to fighting with friends. i rarely get into fights (but that has a lot to do with being passive and just not making it out to be a big deal). it is ridiculous to think that because of this one ordeal that i would let go of our friendship. i wonder that if i am incompetent to deal with it that it will forever be my escape. can you imagine being married and 6 months into the marriage you fight, and you just decide to quit the marriage...not that easy huh? more of a hassel to get a divorce than to work it out. i want to work it out, but right now i think it needs time and space.
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4 comments:
C-
You are free to come and go as you please in life but the manner in which you do it is what separates the women from the girls and the heart from the flesh..............
~Me
I have just been waiting patiently for you to figure this out, and I knew you would. I love you. Our friendship is very special to me. People fight. They let each other down, they disappoint each other, they mess up...because people aren't perfect. True friends can love each other enough to be angry with each other and still be okay. So talk to me already, you dork. And I don't want you to be like Jewel, as cool as she was, and end up living out of your car...geez, crazy lady...so would you come back so I know you have a place? Love you.
If anyone is interested I also gave in to the way of the blog... visit me if you want.
http://cb1precious.blogspot.com
i know how you are feeling. i just recently realized i've never worked through a real conflict and remained friends with anyone. it's very scary to not run. I took a time-out and now it's a little awkward, but i know time will heal. let me encourage you to work it out as you are wanting, or feeling the need to do. matthew tells us that if a brother has something against us and we're offering a gift, our gift is worthless unless we reconcile. we can only run so far. one day we'll be responsible and we'll be living next door to each other praising Him, how much more awesome it would be to not waste what time we have here on earth with things like this. i love you and i'll be praying for your strength. save a friendship.
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