i was so excited when i got here yesterday. to just be here with him seems to make everything else in the world fade into nothing. i am somewhat amazed that it has happened so quickly. makes me wonder and be fearful that it will be one of those relationships where people go out for years and then break up. i cant imagine going through life with anyone else. he just knows, i dont have to explain everything to him. it is just nice that he talks openly with me, otherwise i would be such a mess trying to read his mind.
i guess enough about the boy...all you can really do is pray, because if this is not meant to be, i am really totally clueless.
so tomorrow i am going to go around town and see about getting a serving/bartending job somewhere. hopefully in the midwest, i wont have to go to 20 interviews and can get hired on the spot. i just want to make sure that my life is not revolving around him alone. its healthy to have some independance of my own. i am in a place where the only person i know is him, and i have a feeling that if we dont have some away time, that we will smother each other and end up being resentful. plus, i really miss the whole serving thing.
i did have an interview today at CSE. it went really well, but they are not sure about when and if they need to hire someone. the last thing i want to do is wait around for that particular job, but be proactive about paying my bills...cause honestly, thats the only thing that stresses me out.
i painted today. i havent painted in a really long time, and it was nice. listened to some great jazz, and just started, didnt try to figure out what i wanted it to look like, just did it. its still in progress, but overall i like it. we'll see how it goes. i am glad that i can finally be in a place where i can be free to do that. it gives me a chance to express myself, and it is overall very calming. Nat was watching baseball and i figured i would give him some alone boy time...all sports and stuff. he likes nascar too...and football...oh dear what am i getting myself into. just as long as he allows me to watch the patriots, i will be fine.
i will keep you all updated about my life...well duh, thats what blogs are for right? i miss you all. i wish i could've spent more time with you, but i needed to get back and get my new life together but i think i am going to try to come home at least once a month. but we will see about all that, gotta get a job first!!!
anyway, i am out love you all!!!
c.ALIce
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