I started last night at my new job, i really like it, though there is tons to learn. i did alot of standing around last night, listening to people tell me table numbers and drink garnishes. i am off tonight because Becky is coming here to hang out on her way to Minnesota. I am very excited. I went car shopping yesterday, found a jetta that wouldnt higher my payments, 2005, but i just didnt feel right about it. i am trying to get myself out of debt, not accrue more. I dont hate my car, the gas milage is much to be desired, but she still runs, and she can get me through the winter. my insurance would go up about $40/month, and that kind of defeats the purpose. plus they called today and said that the payment was going to be higher, because what they quoted me was "approximate" just like a car dealer eh? i think more than anything, i would just like to NOT have a car loan hangin over my head. I am glad that i have a job, but i am still bored. i am still looking into a day job, just to occupy myself and help get back ahead in my finances. I can totally relate with EVERYBODY, MONEY SUCKS!! I just really want to be done with it. I am tempted to sell everything i own just to get out of it, but unfortunately, everything i own will only get me like 3000, cause i dont have anything. i like it like that though, less you have to worry about moving, or getting taken from you. I think that i have really just got to the point where the whole stressing over money is over, i am just gonna kick it in the butt and move on with life. i am sick of dealing with it. its all about toys anyway, and i want to spend my earnings on something i bit more eternal i guess. i dont need much to be happy, and less is more.
So I am considering moving out of Nat's house. Such a hard decision though because I would really like to stay here, but I know that above all it is morally compromising. Part of me doesnt have a problem with it, and the other part of me knows its not the best solution. so i am going to talk to brinlee today (cousins wife) because they have an extra room with bath that they will let me stay in, though i am sure i will be here a lot of the time, or working, but i think it might be the best decision, if it works out the way it should. I dont know, its like do you let others allow their views to change your preception, or do you do what you want, even though what you want may not be "right" we will figure it out.
So thats whats going on here. Still working on getting everything in place and settled. Too much time not doing anything can drive me crazy, so i find things to do. i have a list of errands i have to run today...oh FUN!!!
love you all!
c.ALIce
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3 comments:
I won't tell you what to do, just give you some of my own experience. When you know he's the one, it's very hard, living together or otherwise, to not want the physical aspect. Michael and I came very close to not keeping our virginity and we didn't live together, just close. That's giult that I still deal with not remembering. Things you do before marriage have a lasting effect on your marriage. Whatever you choose is up to you and totally your descision, I just don't want to see you hurt later b/c of something that may have been better avoided. I truly love you and don't want you feel like I'm telling you what to do. Search out Christ and He'll lead you in your paths and keep you straight. There's a reason he tells us to do or not to do some things. Love you girl. I have faith in you.
If you're already engaging in a physical relationship, then whether or not you live with him is a moot point. It's basically a way to preserve the image of innocence to those around you. If you have no qualms with sex before marriage (which is a decision entirely up to you) then it makes no sense really to feel differently about living with him. So basically, what I'm saying is this...if you aren't sleeping together, and you want to maintain that, and you think that living together will make that harder, then by all means move out. But if you ARE sleeping together, then to move out because of the "morality" of it is actually sort of hypocritical and really for appearances only. My anonymous 2 cents.
And thanks for not listing me as a sister...nice to know you are loved.
hey...
ya know i had something to say but after reading the last comment i got kinda side tracked.
i would say this though sometimes making the right decision sucks in the moment but it is worth it in the end.
but i know that you will do what ya need...
peace
p.s. watch out for 10 eyed fish walking around in the ohio river...
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