Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes....
"You are incredible. I love to be in your presence, you make my soul smile. Your peace flows through me and your love penetrates my heart. I am almost giddy to just hang out with you and to think about you. Like a lover, you ravish me. You awe me into speechlessness. I cant do anything to turn your away and i want to do all i can to be closer and closer to you. Your voice is a song in my heart, You speak and i lose control, i want to laugh and cry. I want to give you everything because i know you will take care of it. You have been a Ruler, A King, A Friend and A Father, but oh Jesus how much fun it is to be your love. You strip away the disgust and stand with me looking into a mirror and you tell me how beautiful I am. You are my encourager, my confidant, my sole/soul supporter, my everything. You steal my heart when i spy you glancing at me from across the room. The butterflies in my stomach soar in an angry rage because i know this is truth and not falsity. Your hand is placed on the small of my back gently leading me to my dreams. You stand close and whisper in my ear your love and support and point forward into the nothingness and it is revealed to me the hope for my future into the nothingness and it is revealed to me the hope for my future, and in the nothingness i can see a blurred out adventure, knowing, although i cant see the details, I know its worth it. You gently put my hand up to my heart and hold it there and say "trust this" then you place my hand on your heart and you say "trust me." You can imagine that i would get all embarassed and look away but your eyes are so deep and gentle that i cant look away. i get lost in your dreams for me and your thoughts towards me. You sit next to me and allow me to be still. Its peaceful in Your presence, no need to try to impress or fill the air with pointless jabar- but refreshing to simply sit and be quiet. You stroll around inside my heart. My soul faints for you O Lord. You are my love, my lover, my loved, my to be loved, my love lost, my love found and my loves fire. You hold all i am in your heart and see past my miscomings to remember the little girl, the princess My Father (You) brought up, you remember the talks and fights with My Friend (You), and my submissive and rebellious heart towards My King (You). You restore what i though died. You renew a fire and passion in me that i thought passed away. You give even though i dont recieve. You press and pursue me because you know i am worth the effort. You know i am a prize and a treasure worth fighting for. You want me to be with you. You hope that if you show me enough of yourself and how much you love me that i will choose you, well my sweetest i choose you. I can only attempt to love you as much as you continue to love me."
c.ALIce
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
read first
you can read the posts in whatever order you want....but it makes more sense if you start from the bottom and go up...
hollywood bowl
i am sure out of all the people that read this blog, maybe jimi, cindy and/or orrin woulld actually appreciate this. sunday night we went to the hollywood bowl, which is sorta like a mix between riverbend and sawyer point ampitheatre with the mountains and the hollywood sign in the background. the worlds largest ampitheatre.(www.hollywoodbowl.com) anyway i saw the arcade fire and david bryne (for people like me, he is the former lead singer for that talking heads). the show really wasnt all that impressive, but i am hard to please, and not being one that really likes concerts in general...it was awesome though, we had wine, cheese, crackers, caramel popcorn and beer...you are allowed to bring it in. passing around fresh strawberries and pineapples. and socializing. there was me tiff trina snow colette jon nessa joel matthew john janet her son and husband? a couple of their friends and 2 other people i dont remember their names. arcade fire was entertaining, david byrne stood there for most songs, then he brought in a marching band (cindy) from san diego, complete with girls with flags. well we thought they were girls, when all actuality they were VERY convincing drag queens. he did the burning down the house song and psycho killer...and the last song was "crazy in love" yes indeed the beyonce song...no encore...it was great environment and a chance to get to know people more. i was in one of those crazy chrissi quiet moods and they didnt know quite how to take it, they thought i was having a miserable time,but i wasnt, just taking it all in. ya'll jealous? on the 27th i am going to see blues fest with etta james!! oh i love it. then mosdef!! i need to get tickets before it gets sold out! or some sort of jazz experience. i am very excited.
anyway...thats it
c.ALIce
anyway...thats it
c.ALIce
Monday, June 27, 2005
all about a boy...
ok...heres the story about the boi.
first weekend i was here i went to a softball game with tiffany, and you know me, i am always scoping out my environment. since i have been here i have totally been into "brothers" not that i always havent been, but more so. tiffany told everyone and now they are all trying to find a black guy that they know to hook me up (cause some people are always trying to be matchmakers). its funny. anyway. there was a really cute black guy there, little eye candy. they are far and few between, so its nice to have something worthy to look at.so i have been going to her games. i didnt go last week cause nessa and i went hiking and this weekend we went to target. so tiffany texted me and told me to come to her game because there was a "super hot brother" there. so i went. no i didnt just diss nessa for boi...it was sorta how it happened. by the time i got there the game was over, but they were going out to lunch, so i tagged along. mmm mm. he sat across from me at the table and he was really funny. sarcastic. hard to sometimes tell whether or not he is telling the truth or pulling your leg...which i think is great. he is super witty and hot, did i mention he was cute? we were all sitting there and everyone introduced themselves to me and he didnt, so his friend was like "what? you are not goin to introduce yourself" and he said "oh, we go way back." YES! i thought, hes funny. and then i replied "yeah, i must have been really wasted that night." and he replied, "yeah, when i woke you up the next morning you were still drunk." and i was like, "i always miss out on all the fun..." i love it!!! someone that can play back! the fun part was the whole time at lunch we were making fun of people, but we were the only ones that knew it...i didnt say much, but kept looking at him and giving him looks, and he understood and responded with another look...like a conversation without talking. i was sitting right next to tiff and i dont even think she noticed...hahah!
so tiff and i went to smoke or something and came back and he was sitting in my chair so i sat on him, then he scooted over and put his head on my shoulder (awwww)...poor lil guy was tuckered out. (fyi, he doesnt play on the team, he just hackles the other team members). he needs a hackling partner....am i not perfect for the job??? that is about it actually. there isnt a game next week, and tiffany is out of town for two weeks after that..so i may or may not ever see him again...but it sure was fun to have a little crush for a while. well see...believe me i will keep you updated! but i know he wants me...haha =) he realizes how truly cool i am!! ok well i can dream cant i!??!?!
c.ALIce
first weekend i was here i went to a softball game with tiffany, and you know me, i am always scoping out my environment. since i have been here i have totally been into "brothers" not that i always havent been, but more so. tiffany told everyone and now they are all trying to find a black guy that they know to hook me up (cause some people are always trying to be matchmakers). its funny. anyway. there was a really cute black guy there, little eye candy. they are far and few between, so its nice to have something worthy to look at.so i have been going to her games. i didnt go last week cause nessa and i went hiking and this weekend we went to target. so tiffany texted me and told me to come to her game because there was a "super hot brother" there. so i went. no i didnt just diss nessa for boi...it was sorta how it happened. by the time i got there the game was over, but they were going out to lunch, so i tagged along. mmm mm. he sat across from me at the table and he was really funny. sarcastic. hard to sometimes tell whether or not he is telling the truth or pulling your leg...which i think is great. he is super witty and hot, did i mention he was cute? we were all sitting there and everyone introduced themselves to me and he didnt, so his friend was like "what? you are not goin to introduce yourself" and he said "oh, we go way back." YES! i thought, hes funny. and then i replied "yeah, i must have been really wasted that night." and he replied, "yeah, when i woke you up the next morning you were still drunk." and i was like, "i always miss out on all the fun..." i love it!!! someone that can play back! the fun part was the whole time at lunch we were making fun of people, but we were the only ones that knew it...i didnt say much, but kept looking at him and giving him looks, and he understood and responded with another look...like a conversation without talking. i was sitting right next to tiff and i dont even think she noticed...hahah!
so tiff and i went to smoke or something and came back and he was sitting in my chair so i sat on him, then he scooted over and put his head on my shoulder (awwww)...poor lil guy was tuckered out. (fyi, he doesnt play on the team, he just hackles the other team members). he needs a hackling partner....am i not perfect for the job??? that is about it actually. there isnt a game next week, and tiffany is out of town for two weeks after that..so i may or may not ever see him again...but it sure was fun to have a little crush for a while. well see...believe me i will keep you updated! but i know he wants me...haha =) he realizes how truly cool i am!! ok well i can dream cant i!??!?!
c.ALIce
new beginnings....
so nessa and i have talked about going to church for a couple weeks and have never gotten around to it. friday night while at the white trash party, nessa, trina and i were sitting there talking...about all sorts of things. the best part about it was that they talked about me, which of course is my favorite subject!! on saturday trina called me and SHE asked me to go to church with her. so we went (me nessa and trina) to oasis church. it was just like the vineyard but with a little more soul. the pastors wife spoke that morning and she was really funny and good. i still want to go visit mosaic. i may do that on saturday becasue the los feliz location meets at 6:30. kadie said that she is jealous i have the oppurtunity to go, so that means i will definately check it out. anyway, it was great to be there. i didnt realize how much my heart ached until i was there. i have been very fortunate to be surrounded by friends with like-minded beliefs. i am literally in awe. I know that i am supposed to be here without a doubt, regardless that i am homesick...and i am. my friendships here havent closely related to the incredible people i have in my life at home. but i hope that they will become that. i am so fortunate to have people that encourage me in my faith where i am now. i am in a group of friends that are looking to make God serious, and the more that i talk to them, the more i see it. People that are taking initiative to get me involved in my passions. its very surface now, but trina encouraged me to get involved in a small group...i think that is funny cause she is not even in one, or does she go to church on a regular basis...thats what truly awes me, that people i didnt think would go with are taking me. i thought i was going to be so alone here in my beliefs, but it seems like they are coming out of the woodwork. i was talking to snow last night and she is pretty conservative and looking for a direction in life. we actually have alot in common. nessa is still my favorite. i dont expect them to change their lives drastically but i am very thankful that God has put me in such a position...and you all were scared!! would that be a lack of faith in God or me? doesnt matter now because i think everyone has seem glipses of how this change has affected me in a good way. i have found that it is more depressing to deny who you are than to live it out, though living it out is much scarier. i am excited to see what God truly has in store for me here, and how He will continue to provide for every aspect of my life. i am stil growing, if i wasnt i would be scared. its day to day...
c.ALIce
c.ALIce
saturday
i woke up early and everyone was still sleeping so i went to starbucks and connected to the internet and waiting for vanessa to call. i talked to mom. she really enjoys the conversations. i actually do too. she is growing so much. she is definately where she needs to be. after i got off with her i called nessa back and we went to target and ran to the dog store...i was very close to adopting a big dog, but i know that tiffany would KILL me. tiffany texted me and told me that i had to meet her at her softball game because there was a "super hot brother" there. nessa had to go get joel so i went. by the time i got there the game was over, so we went to lunch...and he was there...ill tell you more about that later...but i offically have my first LA crush. its only a CRUSH!!!
saturday night nessa and i went to eat at cheesecake factory. its alright food, but great company.
i am very excited to tell you about sunday, but i am going to wait until i get home and go to starbucks again because i need to get some work done here.
love you all and am really happy you all are back because it makes for a long week when i cant read your blogs so keep them up to date...
love ya miss ya
c.ALIce
saturday night nessa and i went to eat at cheesecake factory. its alright food, but great company.
i am very excited to tell you about sunday, but i am going to wait until i get home and go to starbucks again because i need to get some work done here.
love you all and am really happy you all are back because it makes for a long week when i cant read your blogs so keep them up to date...
love ya miss ya
c.ALIce
'bout time
ya know what sucks...i just wrote this really long blog and the computer disconnected and i have to do it all over again!! so i am going to do it seperately so that if it does it again, i am only losing a little typing rather than 2 pages worth!! ugh so frustrating...
so anyway, sorry its been a while since i wrote, our firey young living aquaitance decided to reconfigure the internet and it hasnt worked since. actually it is probably less to do with him and more to do with the wireless. it actually sucks alot...what did we do before internet and cell phones? who knows! it was friday...i needed to get a song for patrick for the next days wedding and found it on itunes but couldnt download it because none of the passwords worked so i went home to do it...not happening cause the internet was down. i went to nessas and did it but still...seriously bad timing!
its been a pretty busy weekend. friday after work we went to "the abbey" for "big Lesbain" julie's birthday. its actually the coolest bar i have been to. they had a fireplace that looked like it was ice on fire and big screens with designs on them with cool music. great patio. just a very well decorated bar so far. of course it was a gay bar, but there was a great mix (even though one cannot really tell by looks in most cases). after that we went to a "white trash party" in echo park. so fun!!! LA people dont go all out, but some of them were very funny. complete with hostess twinkies and cupcakes, easy cheese, and star and moon shaped cheese. forgot how fun easy cheese is...making all sorts of designs on crackers. should totally be a oak harbor youth group party...i can just imagine. they played lots of 80's and early 90's music. her back yard was awesome. it was garden like with blankets and huge pillows on the ground and a tree swing (so fun). me nessa and trina sat around and chatted. it was awesome. they talked about what they thought of me, which of course is my favorite thing ever...to be talked about, but be present when its done.
so anyway, sorry its been a while since i wrote, our firey young living aquaitance decided to reconfigure the internet and it hasnt worked since. actually it is probably less to do with him and more to do with the wireless. it actually sucks alot...what did we do before internet and cell phones? who knows! it was friday...i needed to get a song for patrick for the next days wedding and found it on itunes but couldnt download it because none of the passwords worked so i went home to do it...not happening cause the internet was down. i went to nessas and did it but still...seriously bad timing!
its been a pretty busy weekend. friday after work we went to "the abbey" for "big Lesbain" julie's birthday. its actually the coolest bar i have been to. they had a fireplace that looked like it was ice on fire and big screens with designs on them with cool music. great patio. just a very well decorated bar so far. of course it was a gay bar, but there was a great mix (even though one cannot really tell by looks in most cases). after that we went to a "white trash party" in echo park. so fun!!! LA people dont go all out, but some of them were very funny. complete with hostess twinkies and cupcakes, easy cheese, and star and moon shaped cheese. forgot how fun easy cheese is...making all sorts of designs on crackers. should totally be a oak harbor youth group party...i can just imagine. they played lots of 80's and early 90's music. her back yard was awesome. it was garden like with blankets and huge pillows on the ground and a tree swing (so fun). me nessa and trina sat around and chatted. it was awesome. they talked about what they thought of me, which of course is my favorite thing ever...to be talked about, but be present when its done.
Friday, June 24, 2005
job
no word from the WB, but i am not stressed. i think the big thing is that i dont know what i want to do. i want to get serious about something, but i feel so unqualified in so many ways, yet so talented at the same time. i appreciate all the prayers and at the same time i dont really think i know what you are praying for either. i am in a very crucial part of life right now, and truthfully i am miserable. i want to come home. i miss everyone and life of familiarity. i have changed alot though from since i left cincinnati. i am not nearly as sarcastic as i used to be, well at least not brutal as i was there. i guess i dont feel like i have to protect myself from anyone and more open to others, and hopes that they will like me.
i am sorta stressed about the job situation because i really want one, but i am being very picky because i still want to have a life here and not work myself to death. i am trying to be patient and wait for God to open doors, and there are several but none of them have started yet. i just want to be free from it all...i want to be free from having to have my life revolve around money...i want my life to revolve around people...i dunno, i am still simple..but me on a farm with a camera and internet axxess..hahah =)
well i am off, ill write more later!
love you all.
c.ALIce
i am sorta stressed about the job situation because i really want one, but i am being very picky because i still want to have a life here and not work myself to death. i am trying to be patient and wait for God to open doors, and there are several but none of them have started yet. i just want to be free from it all...i want to be free from having to have my life revolve around money...i want my life to revolve around people...i dunno, i am still simple..but me on a farm with a camera and internet axxess..hahah =)
well i am off, ill write more later!
love you all.
c.ALIce
i feel like i am slacking
so today i had an interview with warner brothers but after the interview i almost hope she doesnt call. its 60 hours a week at 550 before taxes. hmm, do the math, that is less that ten dollars an hour. i would feel obligated to take the job because Patrick put out the effort to get me the interview, but at the same time...do i really want to waste my life by working more nearly half of awake time so that i can say i worked at the WB? i am not sure what to do. i havent got the job yet to even turn it down, but at the same time, i dont think i want it. i am not that consumed with "the business" to waste my time. i think instead i am going to call around to some photographers and see if they need assistants...at least then i will be learning more about something i have some education and slight passion in. i didnt come out here for nothing.
this week has gone by fairly quickly, but the days are so long. i barely remember what i did. one interesting thing i did this week was go roller skating. tiffany is training to be a "derby doll" which is really violent speed skating. she got new skates in the mail and wanted to try them out, so we went to a skating rink in the valley. how fun to skate with a bunch of 5-10 year olds. i am actually pretty good at it, but not enough to want to get my ass kicked voluntarily by stressed out women with pent up aggression. nessa and i went on a walk today and to eat, then to see batman begins...its an alright movie. not a huge fan of katie holmes...no real suspense or drama. typical action flick i guess.
i talked to cheryl today which was nice because i dont talk to her nearly as much as carol and mom because of our schedules. i cant really call till after 9pm and she is usually in bed by then. it was nice to talk to her. maybe it is the homesickness setting in, but i am not sure i am so happy here. though i feel different. i am not nearly as "brutally" sarcastic, but still sarcastic. i am very much at peace here and feeling closer to my goals in one way or another. i still have a long way to go.
i have really been thinking about the TEFL thing. which is teaching english in other countries. (www.tefl.com). for some reason it keeps coming to mind. now is the perfect time to do it, though i now feel somewhat obligated to stay in los angeles (at least as a base) because of living with tiffany. i guess i can go through all the classes and see what is really available for me before i make any rash decisions. i will be here for a while, but what a great way to get paid to travel and be emerced in other cultures. we'll see what happens.
i am listening to my arabic on the way to work, i should probably make more of an effort to study languages, but in a way pointless since i dont know anyone that speaks them!!
OH YEAH..TOTALLY forgot really cool thing i did....becky, you will be impressed!! SALSA LESSONS!!! trinas salon does free salsa lessons. and there were actually boys there to dance with...they were super nice..frank, a red-headed white boy from equador, his long time buddy marsela, also from equador and geno, very tall brother, but i dont know where he is from. they all had ryhthm...very fun!!! we had margaritas and learned some basic steps and danced around. i must admit though, i have a problem with following a guys lead...geno said.."whats a matter, dont you trust me?" and i guess i didnt, but its only dancing right? there is no reason not to be relaxed and let him do all the work. regardless, they were super nice guys and i had a lot of fun learning to salsa...couple more lessons and i will have to come home and take becky dancing!!! hahah=)
everyone is away at KHO, no new stuff to read...makes for a boring day. luckily i have abbi...she is writing lots of great things and gives me some things to ponder on. i am sad for cindys mom, but i am sure she will be ok.
this weekend is pretty packed i think....friday there are two parties to go to...saturday we were supposed to go to a movie in a cemetary but it got cancelled...sunday is david bryne at hollywood bowl, which from what i hear is going to be my sunday afternoon hot spot all summer. they have outdoor concerts in a park and its really cheap. will be cool to hang out with everyone.
i have one request. i am not going to elaborate, let the spirit take over that, but please pray for a particular area of my life. i need all the help i can get. thats my request, and i know with you all i will get lots of devout prayers and petitions.
i cant think of anything else that was exciting that happened this week. keep in prayer about my job cause i do still need to pay my bills...that i will find something i dont dread and that will be sufficient for my needs.
keep writing, keep reading....stop being lazy with the comments...i write more when i know people actually read it.
oh yeah, another thing to pray for, somewhat disconnected from me. a girl at encore feilds ertel fell down some steps and died on friday...her memorial services were this week. she was young and getting ready to get married and her fiancee found her. pray for the family....its a trajic loss.
love you all
c.ALIce
ps all you KHO-ers come home and tell me all about it!!!!
this week has gone by fairly quickly, but the days are so long. i barely remember what i did. one interesting thing i did this week was go roller skating. tiffany is training to be a "derby doll" which is really violent speed skating. she got new skates in the mail and wanted to try them out, so we went to a skating rink in the valley. how fun to skate with a bunch of 5-10 year olds. i am actually pretty good at it, but not enough to want to get my ass kicked voluntarily by stressed out women with pent up aggression. nessa and i went on a walk today and to eat, then to see batman begins...its an alright movie. not a huge fan of katie holmes...no real suspense or drama. typical action flick i guess.
i talked to cheryl today which was nice because i dont talk to her nearly as much as carol and mom because of our schedules. i cant really call till after 9pm and she is usually in bed by then. it was nice to talk to her. maybe it is the homesickness setting in, but i am not sure i am so happy here. though i feel different. i am not nearly as "brutally" sarcastic, but still sarcastic. i am very much at peace here and feeling closer to my goals in one way or another. i still have a long way to go.
i have really been thinking about the TEFL thing. which is teaching english in other countries. (www.tefl.com). for some reason it keeps coming to mind. now is the perfect time to do it, though i now feel somewhat obligated to stay in los angeles (at least as a base) because of living with tiffany. i guess i can go through all the classes and see what is really available for me before i make any rash decisions. i will be here for a while, but what a great way to get paid to travel and be emerced in other cultures. we'll see what happens.
i am listening to my arabic on the way to work, i should probably make more of an effort to study languages, but in a way pointless since i dont know anyone that speaks them!!
OH YEAH..TOTALLY forgot really cool thing i did....becky, you will be impressed!! SALSA LESSONS!!! trinas salon does free salsa lessons. and there were actually boys there to dance with...they were super nice..frank, a red-headed white boy from equador, his long time buddy marsela, also from equador and geno, very tall brother, but i dont know where he is from. they all had ryhthm...very fun!!! we had margaritas and learned some basic steps and danced around. i must admit though, i have a problem with following a guys lead...geno said.."whats a matter, dont you trust me?" and i guess i didnt, but its only dancing right? there is no reason not to be relaxed and let him do all the work. regardless, they were super nice guys and i had a lot of fun learning to salsa...couple more lessons and i will have to come home and take becky dancing!!! hahah=)
everyone is away at KHO, no new stuff to read...makes for a boring day. luckily i have abbi...she is writing lots of great things and gives me some things to ponder on. i am sad for cindys mom, but i am sure she will be ok.
this weekend is pretty packed i think....friday there are two parties to go to...saturday we were supposed to go to a movie in a cemetary but it got cancelled...sunday is david bryne at hollywood bowl, which from what i hear is going to be my sunday afternoon hot spot all summer. they have outdoor concerts in a park and its really cheap. will be cool to hang out with everyone.
i have one request. i am not going to elaborate, let the spirit take over that, but please pray for a particular area of my life. i need all the help i can get. thats my request, and i know with you all i will get lots of devout prayers and petitions.
i cant think of anything else that was exciting that happened this week. keep in prayer about my job cause i do still need to pay my bills...that i will find something i dont dread and that will be sufficient for my needs.
keep writing, keep reading....stop being lazy with the comments...i write more when i know people actually read it.
oh yeah, another thing to pray for, somewhat disconnected from me. a girl at encore feilds ertel fell down some steps and died on friday...her memorial services were this week. she was young and getting ready to get married and her fiancee found her. pray for the family....its a trajic loss.
love you all
c.ALIce
ps all you KHO-ers come home and tell me all about it!!!!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
interview
today i have an interview at warner brothers. please pray for me.. i am SO nervous. its for a PA position and it is steady work. i hope i get it, i would be working on the set of gilmore girls....fun fun fun!!! i know if its supposed to be i will get a job, so i am not too stressed...but still. id like to work there, and basically have a job yaknow!!
c.ALIce
c.ALIce
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Vanessa
swis3
Originally uploaded by alycepaige.
Here is a face to a name....isnt she great!?!?! i love nessa! tiffany is soo mad cause i keep stealing her friends! HA HAH A (well stop stealing my cheetos biotch!) just kidding, i love tiff!
isnt this beautiful...
swis2
Originally uploaded by alycepaige.
the city is not too far off....its amazing once you get away from the city...so beautiful and peaceful
Monday, June 20, 2005
ouch
yesterday i went to venice beach. it was a beautiful day, no cloud in the skie, perfect breeze, not very crowded. today i feel the pain!!! the backs of my legs are burnt and its the only burnt spot that actually hurts. also the spot that hasnt had that much exposure to the sun in the first place. its cool though, ya deal for a day or so, then you have a good tan! tifffany of course warned me about the dangers of sun cancer, maybe i should consider wearing sunscreen...
i hung out with vanessa all weekend, saturday we went hiking, yesterday to the beach. we went hiking at switzer falls (pics coming soon)...we got lost and took us twice as long as it shouldve, ate, watched most of KINSEY and then went out with trina, snow, patty, amy and nessa...the meal went late and we were supposed to go dancing so we asked the waitress a good place and she told us. so we went...only had like a an hour...walked in and there were a bunch of hot guys, walked farther in, more guys...looked over and there was a guy dancing in a thong...needless to say, i expereinced my first "raunchy" gay club in the valley...i went to celebrities in dayton, been to drag bar in new york, but this was crazy. lots of first experiences in my travels. =) lol
nessa and i were talking today about church...she wants to get back into church and hadnt found anyone with similar beliefs until i came along. yeah, i think we are going to try oasis (trinas church) and mosaic (church becky recommended).
today i am going to work, then to work out. plan on cchecking out some job postings on craigslist...i need a job at night to help pay bills. i will survive one way or another.
i cheated all this weekend, so today is the day to begin again (mercies renew every morning right?) pray for me, pray that my mind and my needs would be replaced by Gods' that He would place a deep desire in my heart for health and give me the power to fulfill. That HE would change my mind about things, and bring me back to Him. i feel so lost without Him, granted i am getting along, but part of me feels like there is more. i dont want to just live...thats normal...i want to live with passion. i want to fulfill greatness in my life. anyone can live an unGodly life, it takes courage to live a Godly one. its hard though. there are so many people that try to convince people of so many things, no wonder people get confused. i guess i could say that you never really experienced the fullness of God if you are able to walk away from Him. Church gives such a twisted persception of Him. I despise that about churches. they make Him out to be a strict belt-whipper that love conditionally in regards to what you are doing in life and whether or not the church says its wrong. yes there are limits...healthy ones. but HIS love cannot be measured, and is unconditional. people get so down on themselves as christians for not being perfect, having a bad attitude can make a christian feel unworthy of Gods love..how ridiculous!!! His love is constant and always the same. whether you pray everyday or not at all. there is a HUGE difference between the Will of GOD and the LOVE of GOD. He doesnt love less if you are not in the will, though in loving Him in return comes the obedience and the desire and passion for HIM (but oddly enough..HE gives it to you )...so having it or not isnt necessarily under your control...sometimes instead of striving to produce in yourself a love and desire for GOD, to beat yourself up because you dont always have the feel-good feeling (which i suppose is supposed to hand in hand with being "close" to God)...or feeling guilty because you dont have it, and others do........take that time to let GOD love on you. Realize who He is....allow HIM to show you about Himself. ask for the desire, but allow HIM to love on you and give it to you in HIS timing...how can anyone get frustrated when being loved on all the time??
there is my sermon for the day...been a while since i went on a vent like that. i think i could go on...but that might be too long.
c.ALIce
i hung out with vanessa all weekend, saturday we went hiking, yesterday to the beach. we went hiking at switzer falls (pics coming soon)...we got lost and took us twice as long as it shouldve, ate, watched most of KINSEY and then went out with trina, snow, patty, amy and nessa...the meal went late and we were supposed to go dancing so we asked the waitress a good place and she told us. so we went...only had like a an hour...walked in and there were a bunch of hot guys, walked farther in, more guys...looked over and there was a guy dancing in a thong...needless to say, i expereinced my first "raunchy" gay club in the valley...i went to celebrities in dayton, been to drag bar in new york, but this was crazy. lots of first experiences in my travels. =) lol
nessa and i were talking today about church...she wants to get back into church and hadnt found anyone with similar beliefs until i came along. yeah, i think we are going to try oasis (trinas church) and mosaic (church becky recommended).
today i am going to work, then to work out. plan on cchecking out some job postings on craigslist...i need a job at night to help pay bills. i will survive one way or another.
i cheated all this weekend, so today is the day to begin again (mercies renew every morning right?) pray for me, pray that my mind and my needs would be replaced by Gods' that He would place a deep desire in my heart for health and give me the power to fulfill. That HE would change my mind about things, and bring me back to Him. i feel so lost without Him, granted i am getting along, but part of me feels like there is more. i dont want to just live...thats normal...i want to live with passion. i want to fulfill greatness in my life. anyone can live an unGodly life, it takes courage to live a Godly one. its hard though. there are so many people that try to convince people of so many things, no wonder people get confused. i guess i could say that you never really experienced the fullness of God if you are able to walk away from Him. Church gives such a twisted persception of Him. I despise that about churches. they make Him out to be a strict belt-whipper that love conditionally in regards to what you are doing in life and whether or not the church says its wrong. yes there are limits...healthy ones. but HIS love cannot be measured, and is unconditional. people get so down on themselves as christians for not being perfect, having a bad attitude can make a christian feel unworthy of Gods love..how ridiculous!!! His love is constant and always the same. whether you pray everyday or not at all. there is a HUGE difference between the Will of GOD and the LOVE of GOD. He doesnt love less if you are not in the will, though in loving Him in return comes the obedience and the desire and passion for HIM (but oddly enough..HE gives it to you )...so having it or not isnt necessarily under your control...sometimes instead of striving to produce in yourself a love and desire for GOD, to beat yourself up because you dont always have the feel-good feeling (which i suppose is supposed to hand in hand with being "close" to God)...or feeling guilty because you dont have it, and others do........take that time to let GOD love on you. Realize who He is....allow HIM to show you about Himself. ask for the desire, but allow HIM to love on you and give it to you in HIS timing...how can anyone get frustrated when being loved on all the time??
there is my sermon for the day...been a while since i went on a vent like that. i think i could go on...but that might be too long.
c.ALIce
Friday, June 17, 2005
drill sargents and secrets exposed
so yesterday i was really bad on my diet. didnt feel guilty. just felt like crap. watched super size me (the movie) and made some conscieous decisions in my head on how i would redeem myself in the morning (this morning). tiffany has been very patient through my hissy fits and melodramatic bitching about not getting the food i want. i got a package from my sisters which had natural cheetos, as you all know MY FAVORITE. not something that the drill sargent, which we will from here on out refer to as "tiffany" would approve of. so i was cautious, i had a cabinet with natural cheetos, chocolate, peppermint sticks. granted i very seldomly went to the cabinet, it still existed. at work, i would have one coke, to satisfy the urge and i figured that one rather than 4-6 was quite the accomplishment. i would eat the cheetos, but paid close attention, rather than having a full serving size, i would have 5-10 every once in a while, so in the midst of cheating the diet, i was being "good" about it.
so this morning i had decided that i was going to appease the idea of actually eating healthy for a couple weeks. to refrain my brain from thinking that cheetos, chocolate and coke are a necessity in life. woke up. went into the kitchen, opened the cabinet to rearrange so that it was not tempting (and to make sure that the cheetos would not go stale). and lo and behold it was all gone!!!
granted i am not too awake in the morning, but i knew i was aware enough....and i knew who did it. TIFFANY!!!
what did i do? well while my blood was boiling becasue she had had the GALL to mess with my stuff, and hid my favorite foods. contemplating in my head how i would address the situation...i just merely said "i appreciate your effort, but it is ultimately my decision." and took a shower. yes it bothered me that she hid my food, even though i had already decided to refrain from it...it was more of the fact that she made the decision for me. just bad timing. i totally understand why...and i asked her to help me and keep me on track so i cant really be mad and i am not mad. i just want to come to that point in my life to make a decision and not be forced into it...i am not retarded, i will figure it out eventually!!
i love tiff...she is definately helping.
her rebuttal: not in her right mind, she went out and found out that i was drinking coke at work (cause patrick and trina are good friends of hers), and basically conspired against me in an innebrated state. patrick was telling all kinds of lies about pizza..,I DID NOT EAT PIZZA!!! patrick and trina didnt know...just casually came up in conversation.
so tiffany thought i was trying to pull one over on her...not the case. just easier to drink coke at work because it is there, and i dont have to hear the "coke is super bad for you" speech. thanks tiffany for helping, love you girl.
it is ultimately my decision, as it is for everyone. so those of you struggling, change your mind about food. it is not a necessity to have certain foods, and healthy food is actually good. coke is bad for you. you dont have to eat an entire candy bar in one sitting...all you really want is the taste anyway, so all you need is a bite.
well that was the fun of my day so far. she did apologize (i forgot to say that) after work i am going to the gym then i am going out with vanessa..we are going to do something just not sure what yet.
love ya all
c.ALIce
so this morning i had decided that i was going to appease the idea of actually eating healthy for a couple weeks. to refrain my brain from thinking that cheetos, chocolate and coke are a necessity in life. woke up. went into the kitchen, opened the cabinet to rearrange so that it was not tempting (and to make sure that the cheetos would not go stale). and lo and behold it was all gone!!!
granted i am not too awake in the morning, but i knew i was aware enough....and i knew who did it. TIFFANY!!!
what did i do? well while my blood was boiling becasue she had had the GALL to mess with my stuff, and hid my favorite foods. contemplating in my head how i would address the situation...i just merely said "i appreciate your effort, but it is ultimately my decision." and took a shower. yes it bothered me that she hid my food, even though i had already decided to refrain from it...it was more of the fact that she made the decision for me. just bad timing. i totally understand why...and i asked her to help me and keep me on track so i cant really be mad and i am not mad. i just want to come to that point in my life to make a decision and not be forced into it...i am not retarded, i will figure it out eventually!!
i love tiff...she is definately helping.
her rebuttal: not in her right mind, she went out and found out that i was drinking coke at work (cause patrick and trina are good friends of hers), and basically conspired against me in an innebrated state. patrick was telling all kinds of lies about pizza..,I DID NOT EAT PIZZA!!! patrick and trina didnt know...just casually came up in conversation.
so tiffany thought i was trying to pull one over on her...not the case. just easier to drink coke at work because it is there, and i dont have to hear the "coke is super bad for you" speech. thanks tiffany for helping, love you girl.
it is ultimately my decision, as it is for everyone. so those of you struggling, change your mind about food. it is not a necessity to have certain foods, and healthy food is actually good. coke is bad for you. you dont have to eat an entire candy bar in one sitting...all you really want is the taste anyway, so all you need is a bite.
well that was the fun of my day so far. she did apologize (i forgot to say that) after work i am going to the gym then i am going out with vanessa..we are going to do something just not sure what yet.
love ya all
c.ALIce
Thursday, June 16, 2005
shake it up
some of you actually watch the news...me i dont. i know that jackson got aquitted. but thats about it. so today i was at work, sitting there minding my own business, then all of a sudden the room started to shake. yes yes today i experienced my first earthquake. it lasted for about 10 seconds, if even that...and i wasnt sure what it was until patrick told me. it felt like a really big airplane flew overhead. a very strange feeling nonetheless. it was supposively a rather big one, but it only lasted a very short time and didnt knock anything over.
i am very tired today. i dont really feel like doing anything plus i am sore. yesterday tiffany and i went hiking. it was nice to get away from the gym. tonight sierra has a concert at the viper room but i am too tired to go and i promised mom i would call her at 9. i talked to levi today. his business is doing very well. that is awesome. i need to get on the ball with stuff here. i am helping tiffany start up her bartending company, trying to organize my portfolio and working on my website (which the love of my life, levi is graciously going to host for me). once i get the website up i can get more photography gigs and with tiffanys company i can work there for the weekends. i need to make money because mike is moving out the end of july and i have to come up with 775 for deposit and 525 for july rent or august rent...whatever. its alot of money and working 15-20 hours a week isnt cutting it. i went yesterday to a interview at mimis cafe and i stood there for a minute and realized i am not ready to get back into serving at a restaurant just yet. tiffany talked to trina to send out an email telling people that we need work and hopefully we will get a couple nice cocktailing jobs like that. i just would rather work from home, ya know....designing websites or doing headshots. i am all about having a flexible schedule and deciding when i want to work and for how long. there are so many ways to make money in LA, or california in general. i just have to get my crap together and make it. ya know what i mean. i will make it here, but i am definately out of my comfort zone and HAVE to be determined to make things happen in order to survive. i am really not worried about it. i think i just came to the conclusion that what i want isnt just going to drop in my lap. i actually have to make a conscieous effort to accomplish my goals.
i would like to give a shout out to those that i know are avid readers to let you know i appreciate you take the time to know whats going on with me!!! becky, sarah, kati, abbi, cindy, carol, cheryl, randy, christiane, and everyone else. love you all!! if i forgot you, i am sorry...my brain is dead.
until again
c.ALIce
i am very tired today. i dont really feel like doing anything plus i am sore. yesterday tiffany and i went hiking. it was nice to get away from the gym. tonight sierra has a concert at the viper room but i am too tired to go and i promised mom i would call her at 9. i talked to levi today. his business is doing very well. that is awesome. i need to get on the ball with stuff here. i am helping tiffany start up her bartending company, trying to organize my portfolio and working on my website (which the love of my life, levi is graciously going to host for me). once i get the website up i can get more photography gigs and with tiffanys company i can work there for the weekends. i need to make money because mike is moving out the end of july and i have to come up with 775 for deposit and 525 for july rent or august rent...whatever. its alot of money and working 15-20 hours a week isnt cutting it. i went yesterday to a interview at mimis cafe and i stood there for a minute and realized i am not ready to get back into serving at a restaurant just yet. tiffany talked to trina to send out an email telling people that we need work and hopefully we will get a couple nice cocktailing jobs like that. i just would rather work from home, ya know....designing websites or doing headshots. i am all about having a flexible schedule and deciding when i want to work and for how long. there are so many ways to make money in LA, or california in general. i just have to get my crap together and make it. ya know what i mean. i will make it here, but i am definately out of my comfort zone and HAVE to be determined to make things happen in order to survive. i am really not worried about it. i think i just came to the conclusion that what i want isnt just going to drop in my lap. i actually have to make a conscieous effort to accomplish my goals.
i would like to give a shout out to those that i know are avid readers to let you know i appreciate you take the time to know whats going on with me!!! becky, sarah, kati, abbi, cindy, carol, cheryl, randy, christiane, and everyone else. love you all!! if i forgot you, i am sorry...my brain is dead.
until again
c.ALIce
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
kristin
for those that would like to have a face with a name....she is really cool, and she likes me!!! but who wouldnt!!!
monday.tuesday..who knows what day it is.
i think it is so awesome that everyone has blogs these days. i feel so connected to everyone. reading about lifes passions and life decisions and just random things that i have been going on in their lives. i will be here for a while, i still have much to accomplish and maybe i will stay, but i cant make that decision right now, and you know me, i am not one to make up my mind. i am always going back and forth.
i am sure that judah is adorable...post a picture or send me one via email. id love to see how tall she is now....cause i know she is still full of meanness.
tomorrow i have full day....i have to work, then go to a group interview then i am going out with kristen....her friend sierra is having a cd release party on thursday and tomorrow is sorta a pre-cursor to that. its kind of flattering to be invited but at the same time...sierra is not very nice and tiffany doesnt like kristen. i have a feeling i am getting myself in the middle of a mess. i am just trying not to judge people too early. i am not sure how tomorrow will go because sierra is a known coke-head and kristen too when they are together but tomorrow is a studio session thing so i hope that i wont have to deal with the crap. we will see how it goes. fortunately i have enough sense and strong character to resist the not-so-present temptation.
well i am going to get to bed, cause i am too tired to think about what to write.
c.ALIce
oh yeah, for you all of you that know her....remember Jen Edwards, i know cheryl, carol and danielle know her....she is NOW ENGAGED!!! Brian FINALLY asked!!! she called so excited, and was almost at tears because she was so happy. just thought i would let those that want to know know!!!
=) yeah!
love you all!!
i am sure that judah is adorable...post a picture or send me one via email. id love to see how tall she is now....cause i know she is still full of meanness.
tomorrow i have full day....i have to work, then go to a group interview then i am going out with kristen....her friend sierra is having a cd release party on thursday and tomorrow is sorta a pre-cursor to that. its kind of flattering to be invited but at the same time...sierra is not very nice and tiffany doesnt like kristen. i have a feeling i am getting myself in the middle of a mess. i am just trying not to judge people too early. i am not sure how tomorrow will go because sierra is a known coke-head and kristen too when they are together but tomorrow is a studio session thing so i hope that i wont have to deal with the crap. we will see how it goes. fortunately i have enough sense and strong character to resist the not-so-present temptation.
well i am going to get to bed, cause i am too tired to think about what to write.
c.ALIce
oh yeah, for you all of you that know her....remember Jen Edwards, i know cheryl, carol and danielle know her....she is NOW ENGAGED!!! Brian FINALLY asked!!! she called so excited, and was almost at tears because she was so happy. just thought i would let those that want to know know!!!
=) yeah!
love you all!!
Monday, June 13, 2005
such a slacker!!!
i know i should post more, but i have so much fun reading everyone elses blogs that i forget that i have one myself that i need to keep updated. there really isnt anything crazy or adventerous going on here...i have to work today, and i HAVE to go to the gym. i cant slack off anymore because now i am eating healthy too, which is actually very easy, except tiff says i cant have bread/carbs....argh. its only for the first couple weeks she said...good, because i am not giving up pasta, cheetos, ya know all the good foods. so this morning i made myself a smoothie. fresh papaya, pineapple, banana, strawberry and mango with fresh squeezed orange juice and some protein powder. its not all that bad. =)
this morning i got a call from trina and patrick. the people i work for and we are trying to figure out a schedule for me, only 15 hours a week....until the business picks up. i am going to go in today for a couple hours to organize some of the things i am going to change. my way or the highway i guess. tomorrow i am going to go to another group interview at mimi's cafe...i need the extra cash and other restaurants are too stuffy. i am not about hard work or putting myself out too much in a restaurant job. i just need to pay my bills. i guess i have not really come to the conclusion that i am going to live here, i am just trying to pay my bills, expereince the other side of life...accomplish some goals and come home. i dont want to raise children here. i dont want to caught up in having a certain car, living in a certain area, going to certain bars and being associated with certain people to be valued. i dunno though. right now i am frustrated because i am not making as much money as i did in cincinnati and i have to pay my bills. there are always ways to make money here, i am just not that determinned i guess.
what did i do this weekend since the last time i posted? worked on friday till like 6, was supposed to work till 4 but trina came home and we went through a bunch of stuff with the company. then went out with vanesssa on friday night. we went to mimi's cafe to eat with tiffany, then tiff went back to work and we went back to the apartment (cause we are both broke) and just sat around and chatted. saturday night i went to a club called "circus" to watch a DJ play with trina, snow, vanessa and john. he was good, i could've been into it, but wasnt in the mood...definately felt the need for a becky. then went back to vanessas and planned a layout session by the pool on sunday. so yesterday it was cloudy...no good for laying out. so we went grocery shopping, out to eat at kojis (everyones favorite place) and had shabu shabu. it means swish swish in japanese and basically you get a pot of hot water and raw meat and put it in the hot water to cook and there are sauces and rice, veggies and noodles..sorta fun, but i have had shabu 3 times this week, i need a break...anyway so then we went to target, then back to her place, blockbuster, and i came back to apartment and tiff and i chilled out and watched "daddy day care"...so trendy i know!
now i am up before anyone, as usual. vanessa is really cool. very easy to talk to, very midwestern---shes originally from chicago. when they talk about california being so different from midwest...i dont really see it. sometimes the people are dressed a little differently, but overall...there are still clubs, DJs, bars (with the same yet more expensive liquor), stores, restaurants. the weather is definately a plus. i mean, summer/spring year round....how could that not be nice? i will accomplish the things i need to accomplish here, but my friends and family back home are way too important to me. though i know that they too will go off and live elsewhere, they will experience that side of life. but the majority will stay. i urge people the get away from cincinnati to see other places and get it out of their system so that they can come back to cincinnati and realize what home feels like.
thats how i feel today granted...ya know how i change all the time. people around me keep telling me to give it time, at least a year...i dunno though. we will see how it goes. i am not going to do anything drastic...i will accomplish my goals here before i consider going back. today is the third week. cant believe its only been that long....geez!! feels like months!!
love you all!!!
c.ALIce
Friday, June 10, 2005
DOODLES
this is for you abbi..a pic of your beautiful daughter a LONG time ago. if she was sitting up eating a mini muffin...she is definately growing up way too fast!!!
so i guess that mike is no longer moving out in mid-june. he may be here for a while. the situation isnt that bad actually, but i am sure that tiffany would like to come home and have some alone time, cause there is always someone home, or something to do.
the job is good. i am a bit worried because i am only working part time and its not enough to pay my bills. i need at least 400 a week to survive and until i start with kristin, i am only making 200. UGH..why (again) does the world have to revolve around money?? i am truly to pick up some random photo jobs on the side. we will see how that goes. harder than i thought it would be to find a job.
listening to german cd right now. trying to learn german cause i am so cool...listen to arabic on the way to work and back from work. i also have spanish and russian as well. i will be fluent in like 20 years!
love you
c.ALIce
the job is good. i am a bit worried because i am only working part time and its not enough to pay my bills. i need at least 400 a week to survive and until i start with kristin, i am only making 200. UGH..why (again) does the world have to revolve around money?? i am truly to pick up some random photo jobs on the side. we will see how that goes. harder than i thought it would be to find a job.
listening to german cd right now. trying to learn german cause i am so cool...listen to arabic on the way to work and back from work. i also have spanish and russian as well. i will be fluent in like 20 years!
love you
c.ALIce
Thursday, June 09, 2005
look at my beautiful sister
this post is dedicated to my beautiful sister carol. she brought to my attention that she didnt have any pictures so i searched deep and found some...but there arent any of me and her..sad i know, but on flicker i put some other pics of carol!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
what have i not said....
listening to mtv hits....papa roach "scars" for some reason i love his voice, and he is hot! i am sorta out of it right now. not much really goin on. i worked today, but dont have to work tomorrow...well i am on call. justin (the other guy) needs to come in and show me what to do because patrick doesnt know how. i have pretty much taught my way through quickbooks and have a good grasp on things to do. today i re0organized the file cabinet and i am going to make individual folders on each DJ or entertainment company that we work for/with. i work much better at the apartment, but i have to remember its a job not a curdosy.
i havent been to work out lately, honestly i havent had the energy. i am just getting over being sick and it has really wore me out. tiffany and i are starting our cleansing fast tomorrow...or so we say. tonight we got chocolate and soda as our last treat before we begin...now i feel nauseous. so tomorrow i guess i am not eating real food but liquid diet only. its only 2 weeks. i am so excited to see my sisters. in august, my sisters and maybe others are going to meet in las vegas and then go to grand canyon..OH SO EXCITED. hopefully i will be able to get off work..or in any case, still have a job by then.
sometimes i feel like i am not doing enough at my job, but at the same time....i dont think that i have a clear idea of what my duties are....i definately need more training from justin, if he ever shows up for work.
well nothing else too interesting. i am glad that my friends have got their own blogs. it is much easier to keep up on them. POST MORE PICS!!!
loveyou all
c.ALIce
i havent been to work out lately, honestly i havent had the energy. i am just getting over being sick and it has really wore me out. tiffany and i are starting our cleansing fast tomorrow...or so we say. tonight we got chocolate and soda as our last treat before we begin...now i feel nauseous. so tomorrow i guess i am not eating real food but liquid diet only. its only 2 weeks. i am so excited to see my sisters. in august, my sisters and maybe others are going to meet in las vegas and then go to grand canyon..OH SO EXCITED. hopefully i will be able to get off work..or in any case, still have a job by then.
sometimes i feel like i am not doing enough at my job, but at the same time....i dont think that i have a clear idea of what my duties are....i definately need more training from justin, if he ever shows up for work.
well nothing else too interesting. i am glad that my friends have got their own blogs. it is much easier to keep up on them. POST MORE PICS!!!
loveyou all
c.ALIce
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
general life
i feel like shit today. i thought i was getting better and then my stomach started to get really upset and now i am so tired that i cant sleep. so you are my remedy.
i started my new job today. i am basically working for patrick, the guy i took wedding pics for. he owns a entertainment company that hires out djs and all types of entertainment. i am the go-to girl. i am basically his personal assistant/secretary/book-keeper/gig scheduler/ goffer. its a really laid back job, he works out of his house and the hours are super flexible. right now it is a very busy season. i was on the phone all day today, as well as trying to learn quickbooks...the guy training me thinks i am a fucking genius or something...he is like "here watch me do this once in super lightning speed then ill let you do it while i go smoke..." i am a hands on type of learner...you cant just tell me anything because my brain tunes people out (especially him, GOD he doesnt take breathes between sentences!!) i caught on though..after he left, i just went through some random tutorials and now i probably know more than he does.
i think i will like the job though. patrick is super easy to work with, and once the other guy is gone...we might actually get things done. i am trying to figure out a better way to organize the whole thing so that we do not lose clients due to miscommunicatoin or unorganization. i am actually very organized, especially in my brain when things need to be done.
boring huh? i guess its not much fun to read about my daily life. there is really nothing too exciting going on other than my first day at my job.
i am actually very sad today because my great aunt passed away last night. she was old and had alzheimer, but it is still sad. i consider her my grandmother figure. when dad and i went to kentucky on the weekends, i would hang out with her and go on long walks and pick strawberries. i havent seen her in a really long time, and she wouldnt know me if she saw me anyway. but regardless she still holds a very special place in my life. ill deal with it later.
i wish i would feel better. i wish someone would send me mail. i wish i was getting my mail here, especially my check from encore...that would help alot i think. they said they mailed it, but i havent seen it yet...slackers!!!! tiff keeps saying that we are going to start this cleansing fast, but then we keep putting it off..last week we (she) was recouping from the wedding....this week we are sick, maybe next week. to tell you the truth i am really not looking forward to it. depriving myself from food for 2 weeks for cleansing...probably a healthly thing to do...its like i am going to get an eating disorder. she also says we are going to work out...hmmm....yeah....we BETTER!!! i get all motivated...then i slack off. something i have to do myself, though i would much rather have her company.
i talked to aimee today from encore. she is so sweet. think she might actually have to re-nig on her thinking i am coming back soon. i will be here for at least a year i think. maybe till i figure out what i really want. who knows. i am not making any plans/ just going with the flow...so far that has worked out prefectly for me.
well i am off.....pray i will feel better....cause i hate being sick. tiff thinks i am funny...cause i am delirious. she said that i dont have to drink or do drugs, all i need is a slight cold to be entertaining. i admit i am somewhat spacey...like a blonde in a plantetariam.
love you.
c.ALIce
i started my new job today. i am basically working for patrick, the guy i took wedding pics for. he owns a entertainment company that hires out djs and all types of entertainment. i am the go-to girl. i am basically his personal assistant/secretary/book-keeper/gig scheduler/ goffer. its a really laid back job, he works out of his house and the hours are super flexible. right now it is a very busy season. i was on the phone all day today, as well as trying to learn quickbooks...the guy training me thinks i am a fucking genius or something...he is like "here watch me do this once in super lightning speed then ill let you do it while i go smoke..." i am a hands on type of learner...you cant just tell me anything because my brain tunes people out (especially him, GOD he doesnt take breathes between sentences!!) i caught on though..after he left, i just went through some random tutorials and now i probably know more than he does.
i think i will like the job though. patrick is super easy to work with, and once the other guy is gone...we might actually get things done. i am trying to figure out a better way to organize the whole thing so that we do not lose clients due to miscommunicatoin or unorganization. i am actually very organized, especially in my brain when things need to be done.
boring huh? i guess its not much fun to read about my daily life. there is really nothing too exciting going on other than my first day at my job.
i am actually very sad today because my great aunt passed away last night. she was old and had alzheimer, but it is still sad. i consider her my grandmother figure. when dad and i went to kentucky on the weekends, i would hang out with her and go on long walks and pick strawberries. i havent seen her in a really long time, and she wouldnt know me if she saw me anyway. but regardless she still holds a very special place in my life. ill deal with it later.
i wish i would feel better. i wish someone would send me mail. i wish i was getting my mail here, especially my check from encore...that would help alot i think. they said they mailed it, but i havent seen it yet...slackers!!!! tiff keeps saying that we are going to start this cleansing fast, but then we keep putting it off..last week we (she) was recouping from the wedding....this week we are sick, maybe next week. to tell you the truth i am really not looking forward to it. depriving myself from food for 2 weeks for cleansing...probably a healthly thing to do...its like i am going to get an eating disorder. she also says we are going to work out...hmmm....yeah....we BETTER!!! i get all motivated...then i slack off. something i have to do myself, though i would much rather have her company.
i talked to aimee today from encore. she is so sweet. think she might actually have to re-nig on her thinking i am coming back soon. i will be here for at least a year i think. maybe till i figure out what i really want. who knows. i am not making any plans/ just going with the flow...so far that has worked out prefectly for me.
well i am off.....pray i will feel better....cause i hate being sick. tiff thinks i am funny...cause i am delirious. she said that i dont have to drink or do drugs, all i need is a slight cold to be entertaining. i admit i am somewhat spacey...like a blonde in a plantetariam.
love you.
c.ALIce
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Saturday, June 04, 2005
all the things you didnt want to know
well i was supposed to work with kristin and tiffany on a commercial on thursday and ended getting postponed...which was cool. went to my first group interview at urban outfitters which was fun. they seem like a really cool group of people to work with, as of now i have not got a call back for second interview, but i am really not that worried about it. so i am doing so much that it is hard to keep you all posted. i think i told you i went to jumbos, a strip bar and cheetahs, a strip bar....but not really, neither went topless so it wasnt that awkward...just a bar with girls in their underwear dancing around. had trina and patricks wedding and i think that is where i ended it....oh so much more to tell.
got back on sunday from wedding....nothing interesting there.
monday...errands, tifff went to kareoke, i stayed home and organized
tuesday...apparently nothing grandious because i vaguely remember...
wednesday....got a gym membership (or was that tuesday, hell i cant remember) i was itching for a dance club, but nothing was that happening on wednesday night, so we went to this little restaurant for a little snack and tiff ran into someone she knew that paid for our meal (which probably wasnt cheap...) super nice guy from lebanon, i spoke my famous three phrases or arabic (though he didnt seem too impressed, but i thought i was cool). so then we went to level one, a bar that tiff used to work at but it was closed, or vise versa, we may have went to level one first...OH yeah, level one, then restaurant, then BOA, another bar (with a SUPER HOT BROTHER AS BOUNCER!!) it was very "hollywood" or "LA".... very nice but almost too nice, we left there and went down the street to another bar "sky" which overlooked the city (which was beautiful) and sat by the pool with our feet resting in the water talking about life and love and more life. nice to sit and chat. we then went back to BOA, which i didnt mind...ya know, the eye candy helps. hung out with new guy...forgot his name, but he was from hungray and really nice. then bed
thursday (was that really last night!?!??!) had lots of interviews (well two...but i got other crap taken care of too)...went to work out (by myself mind you....be proud!) then came home and tiff and i went back to level one (cause we were determined to see rick, a hot friend of tiffs...now my adopted older brother) then went to ANOTHER bar (i am like becoming a bar whore) called "the drawing room" where we saw justin and his friend jeff, so we played good music on the jutebox and played darts. i was pretty buzzed by the end of this night. i dont drink often, by any means of the imagination (though for some reason people think i am a lush)...the bar closed and we stood outside with other people that got kicked out and hung out. NO ONE HERE is FROM LA!!! they are from all over, most of them are actors, comedians, screenwriters, directors..etc etc. sweet people though. i was noted as "fabulous" and "twice as cool as the coolest person i know"...which means alot coming from a guy that admittedly just shot up whale liver?!?! he said it not me...who knows why. so far everyone i have met is cool...sober or wasted. its the first time in like 2 years that i have been that drunk. the hangover wasnt bad either, thank GOD. it is not a normal thing by any means. but fun every once in a while. i dont really plan on doing it very often, because it is an expensive habit.
then there was today...worked out again (3rd day oh yeah!!) and went to trina and patricks to show them wedding pics (they are so adorable) then went to red lion (imagine that, another bar) for joels birthday party. i dont know joel all that well, but vanessa (his girlfriend) is really cool. sat and chatted with trina and kristin...one of the only times i didnt have tiffany with me (she was there for a bit, but had to go back to work). i love my tiffy...she has been so patient with the clutter of her room..though this weekend we are CLEANING and PAINTING!!! we will get this place in order for a couple days anyway. she has been great though. i love her dearly.
tomorrow i am not sure whats going on
sunday...made plans with trina to go to church, tentatively anyway, and tiff wants to go hiking, and cleaning and painting i presume.
monday....10am, i go to work. i have to learn the ropes for the first couple weeks then i am on my way. i think that the job is awesome, very laid back but with alot of potential for growth/advancement....and flexible. i think it really fits my talents too. i do want to do a good job, and i think i will. it will be so much fun, and it is awesome that kristin is working with me...i want to work with her too, and she is being very pro-active to make that happen.
everything seems to be falling into place. everything has worked out great since i got here, and that just confirms to me that this was the right decision.
roommate situation: Joe finally got a job working with mike (the other roommate) and they are getting along like a cute little couple..yesterday they went to a movie together, today they got a job, got wasted and went shopping...oh how adorable (mind you, neither of them are gay). mike told tiffany that he might be moving in mid june, which is awesome because that means i get his room. i dunno how long joe will be here, at least until he gets his feet on the ground.couple months i presume. we will see how it goes. i would love for you to come visit me, i just want to make sure that things here are settled so i can give you a better idea of when the best time is...and to make sure there is room for you, because at this point, everything is tentative.
i think that pretty much sums everything up. i dont think that i missed much of anything in the last two blogs...just trying to catch up. i have other comments on myspace (link is in left hand side bar) and there you can see some of my new friends and lots of good ol friends.
love you all!!!
c.ALIce
i will try to call people this weekend...free nights and weekends, and weekends are easier to manage because nights my time are really late for most of you all.
got back on sunday from wedding....nothing interesting there.
monday...errands, tifff went to kareoke, i stayed home and organized
tuesday...apparently nothing grandious because i vaguely remember...
wednesday....got a gym membership (or was that tuesday, hell i cant remember) i was itching for a dance club, but nothing was that happening on wednesday night, so we went to this little restaurant for a little snack and tiff ran into someone she knew that paid for our meal (which probably wasnt cheap...) super nice guy from lebanon, i spoke my famous three phrases or arabic (though he didnt seem too impressed, but i thought i was cool). so then we went to level one, a bar that tiff used to work at but it was closed, or vise versa, we may have went to level one first...OH yeah, level one, then restaurant, then BOA, another bar (with a SUPER HOT BROTHER AS BOUNCER!!) it was very "hollywood" or "LA".... very nice but almost too nice, we left there and went down the street to another bar "sky" which overlooked the city (which was beautiful) and sat by the pool with our feet resting in the water talking about life and love and more life. nice to sit and chat. we then went back to BOA, which i didnt mind...ya know, the eye candy helps. hung out with new guy...forgot his name, but he was from hungray and really nice. then bed
thursday (was that really last night!?!??!) had lots of interviews (well two...but i got other crap taken care of too)...went to work out (by myself mind you....be proud!) then came home and tiff and i went back to level one (cause we were determined to see rick, a hot friend of tiffs...now my adopted older brother) then went to ANOTHER bar (i am like becoming a bar whore) called "the drawing room" where we saw justin and his friend jeff, so we played good music on the jutebox and played darts. i was pretty buzzed by the end of this night. i dont drink often, by any means of the imagination (though for some reason people think i am a lush)...the bar closed and we stood outside with other people that got kicked out and hung out. NO ONE HERE is FROM LA!!! they are from all over, most of them are actors, comedians, screenwriters, directors..etc etc. sweet people though. i was noted as "fabulous" and "twice as cool as the coolest person i know"...which means alot coming from a guy that admittedly just shot up whale liver?!?! he said it not me...who knows why. so far everyone i have met is cool...sober or wasted. its the first time in like 2 years that i have been that drunk. the hangover wasnt bad either, thank GOD. it is not a normal thing by any means. but fun every once in a while. i dont really plan on doing it very often, because it is an expensive habit.
then there was today...worked out again (3rd day oh yeah!!) and went to trina and patricks to show them wedding pics (they are so adorable) then went to red lion (imagine that, another bar) for joels birthday party. i dont know joel all that well, but vanessa (his girlfriend) is really cool. sat and chatted with trina and kristin...one of the only times i didnt have tiffany with me (she was there for a bit, but had to go back to work). i love my tiffy...she has been so patient with the clutter of her room..though this weekend we are CLEANING and PAINTING!!! we will get this place in order for a couple days anyway. she has been great though. i love her dearly.
tomorrow i am not sure whats going on
sunday...made plans with trina to go to church, tentatively anyway, and tiff wants to go hiking, and cleaning and painting i presume.
monday....10am, i go to work. i have to learn the ropes for the first couple weeks then i am on my way. i think that the job is awesome, very laid back but with alot of potential for growth/advancement....and flexible. i think it really fits my talents too. i do want to do a good job, and i think i will. it will be so much fun, and it is awesome that kristin is working with me...i want to work with her too, and she is being very pro-active to make that happen.
everything seems to be falling into place. everything has worked out great since i got here, and that just confirms to me that this was the right decision.
roommate situation: Joe finally got a job working with mike (the other roommate) and they are getting along like a cute little couple..yesterday they went to a movie together, today they got a job, got wasted and went shopping...oh how adorable (mind you, neither of them are gay). mike told tiffany that he might be moving in mid june, which is awesome because that means i get his room. i dunno how long joe will be here, at least until he gets his feet on the ground.couple months i presume. we will see how it goes. i would love for you to come visit me, i just want to make sure that things here are settled so i can give you a better idea of when the best time is...and to make sure there is room for you, because at this point, everything is tentative.
i think that pretty much sums everything up. i dont think that i missed much of anything in the last two blogs...just trying to catch up. i have other comments on myspace (link is in left hand side bar) and there you can see some of my new friends and lots of good ol friends.
love you all!!!
c.ALIce
i will try to call people this weekend...free nights and weekends, and weekends are easier to manage because nights my time are really late for most of you all.
Friday, June 03, 2005
life in la
mike, the other roommate is being super nice to everyone. i think that it had less to do with us being here and more to do with things going on in his life. i just showed patrick and trina the pictures from the wedding and they loved them. not that i doubted that they would, but it makes me feel even better now knowing it. the best part was being there when i showed them...they were so cute. it was like they were living the night all over again.
i now definately have a job. i start work on monday. i am basically helping out patrick with his dj business, working out the legistics still, but doing booking, email replies, answering the phone. i think that it will be awesome. i am very excited. i am also going to work with kristin when she gets another gig being a PA (production assistant)... and she is awesome because she is going to work with me and my schedule with patrick so that i can do both.
i went yesterday for a job as a caterer and i am supposed to work tomorrow, but unfortunately the girl never sent me directions and being i have been lost alot, i dont want to take my chances for a hard day at work for $50. i kind of feel bad, but its somewhat their fault for not having their shit together.
so i am probably going to go to church with trina on sunday. the church is called oasis, its a non denominational church...and she speaks of it in high regards. i am excited. there isnt a church on every corner like in cinci, and the ones i have seen are all demonination based, and i would much rather not be in a particular religon, but with like-minded individuals. i think that it will be a great way to get connected to people and to also find a bible study or something like that.
i have worked out for three days straight...be SO proud!!! the gym is really cool. i took a strip tease cardio class led by a flaming gay guy that was almost more woman than me. went yesterday by myself...took me an hour and half to get there...30 minutes to get home. it was a nice drive though. its beautiful here.
my sisters are planning a trip out west, maybe to grand canyon or las vegas...and have me meet them there. that would be so much fun!!! i miss them. its been almost 3 weeks, but i think because of the huge chance and lots of down time (well joblessness...not necessarily down time) it feels like it has been months.
i have met some amazing people. got to talk to trina today and get to know her better and also kristin, which is cool too (we think alot alike). i am staying away from the whole hollywood scene...the people seem so dull and cut out. the people i have met are very open, honest and real...i truly have been blessed through out this entire endeavor. part of me is really sad to think that i might stay here for a long time, and i am also excited. who knows what tomorrrow brings right? i do miss people though...becky, sarah, katie....my sisters...and oddly enough my mom and dad.
speaking of which, my dad had a pace maker put in on wednesday, and it seems like everything worked out beautifully. hopefully that will keep him around longer.
anyway, i am also going to post this on my blog because some people read that and not this...or vise versa.
love you all!!
c.ALIce
i now definately have a job. i start work on monday. i am basically helping out patrick with his dj business, working out the legistics still, but doing booking, email replies, answering the phone. i think that it will be awesome. i am very excited. i am also going to work with kristin when she gets another gig being a PA (production assistant)... and she is awesome because she is going to work with me and my schedule with patrick so that i can do both.
i went yesterday for a job as a caterer and i am supposed to work tomorrow, but unfortunately the girl never sent me directions and being i have been lost alot, i dont want to take my chances for a hard day at work for $50. i kind of feel bad, but its somewhat their fault for not having their shit together.
so i am probably going to go to church with trina on sunday. the church is called oasis, its a non denominational church...and she speaks of it in high regards. i am excited. there isnt a church on every corner like in cinci, and the ones i have seen are all demonination based, and i would much rather not be in a particular religon, but with like-minded individuals. i think that it will be a great way to get connected to people and to also find a bible study or something like that.
i have worked out for three days straight...be SO proud!!! the gym is really cool. i took a strip tease cardio class led by a flaming gay guy that was almost more woman than me. went yesterday by myself...took me an hour and half to get there...30 minutes to get home. it was a nice drive though. its beautiful here.
my sisters are planning a trip out west, maybe to grand canyon or las vegas...and have me meet them there. that would be so much fun!!! i miss them. its been almost 3 weeks, but i think because of the huge chance and lots of down time (well joblessness...not necessarily down time) it feels like it has been months.
i have met some amazing people. got to talk to trina today and get to know her better and also kristin, which is cool too (we think alot alike). i am staying away from the whole hollywood scene...the people seem so dull and cut out. the people i have met are very open, honest and real...i truly have been blessed through out this entire endeavor. part of me is really sad to think that i might stay here for a long time, and i am also excited. who knows what tomorrrow brings right? i do miss people though...becky, sarah, katie....my sisters...and oddly enough my mom and dad.
speaking of which, my dad had a pace maker put in on wednesday, and it seems like everything worked out beautifully. hopefully that will keep him around longer.
anyway, i am also going to post this on my blog because some people read that and not this...or vise versa.
love you all!!
c.ALIce
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
sunset in texas
i thought this was beautiful as we were driving through texas. there wasnt a whole lot else to look at other than a couple hills and flat land...yes texas is flat!!!
belton family
i LOVE the belton family!!! i am so glad that i got to spend some time with them over the weekend. i hope to see them soon!!
trina and patrick
arent they beautiful!?!?!? this was the people i did the wedding for this weekend.
got a gym membership today
that was the only exciting thing i have done. i have a lot of errands to run tomorrow....open bank account, go to job interview, call back people that called me today for interviews, drop off application at urban outfitters. i figure i can get a bunch of jobs and keep things interesting. i have some really good pictures from the wedding that i can use for my website, if and when i ever get it going!!! i have randy that will put my online, so i should really get to it. today i went with tiffany and got a gym membership at crunch.ballys. we are supposed to go tomorrow. today we were supposed to start a cleansing fast, and it lasted about half a day, but it was cleansing....i felt alot better, but i HAD to eat something normal!! we are supposed to start it again next monday...mondays are always better to start fasts and diets right?
other than that nothing too interesting. just trying to plant my feet and find NATURAL CHEETOS!!! they are no where!!! i met three people today from ohio....weird huh? one was SUPER HOT...he was at the gym! yeah, that means i have eye candy to motivate me. haha =)
i feel alot more settled now, and less like a vacation...but i think i mentioned that. i have been trying to keep touch with people as much as possible but its hard because of my minutes on my phone. i dont want to pay more than i have too and i cant call till after nine on cali time, which is midnight on ohio time.
anyway, i am keeping this short and sweet because i have a long day tomorrow and i want to get some sleep.
love you all
c.ALIce
other than that nothing too interesting. just trying to plant my feet and find NATURAL CHEETOS!!! they are no where!!! i met three people today from ohio....weird huh? one was SUPER HOT...he was at the gym! yeah, that means i have eye candy to motivate me. haha =)
i feel alot more settled now, and less like a vacation...but i think i mentioned that. i have been trying to keep touch with people as much as possible but its hard because of my minutes on my phone. i dont want to pay more than i have too and i cant call till after nine on cali time, which is midnight on ohio time.
anyway, i am keeping this short and sweet because i have a long day tomorrow and i want to get some sleep.
love you all
c.ALIce
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