Saturday, October 09, 2004

coming back

So I decided that I was going to sit down and read my bible. It’s been a while; I wasn’t sure where to begin, so I prayed, like I knew how. I sat and journaled whatever came to mind hoping that something would pop out at me, I starting think about relationship with Jesus, how loosely the term is thrown around. I look up in my concordance and found nothing; I brought out the big guns and looked in Strongs concordance and still nothing with the word “relationship.” I thought about the context of relationship, and how the bible refers to types of relationships as us being the bride, the friend, the slave, the servant, the child. Well that is all I came up with…I am sure there are more, anyway, so I sat and pondered all the types and what each type entailed as far as a duty the is applied to it, A bride is submissive loved and obedient, the child loved and cared for, the slave and servant get their provisions from the Master and the friends ultimate duty is to be willing to die. I thought about my life and how I fall short so many times in regards to my role in my relationship. I am the stubborn child that kicks and streams when I don’t get my way, and do anything to avoid punishment, I am the bride that harlots around town like in the story of gomer and hosea. I am short of being obedient, but find more that I have a disastrous pride that rules me. I am not close to dying, I cant find the motivation to even go to church in any other capacity than Sunday worship, I looked up the definition of “relationship” and came up with that it is the condition or fact of being related connected or associated, a connection by blood or marriage related to or having “dealings” with each other, a connection existing between two people, or the far fetched idea of romantic or sexual involvement. What a load…I understood why the word was used, but still….merely to be connected? Then I talked to a friend, she mentioned that it wasn’t relationship that was mentioned in the bible but the countless references to “knowing’ God, oh what a relief!!! So I looked it up…and I re-iterate, COUNTLESS references, Old and New Testament. I look up the Hebrew, the Greek and the English dictionary, looked into the verses associated and came up with the definition. I don’t merely to be associated or “deal” with GOD; I want to take on the definition of know...to perceive, to achieve understanding of, to apprehend (from the Latin word meaning to seize). To be convinced by DIRECT INTUITION. To grasp in the mind with clarity and certainty, can you tell I am a word person (must have been the linguistic major!). Going on, to have a Practical understanding of THROUGH experience. I know, probably sounds so simple to you, but think about it, would you rather have a ‘relationship” with God, or an understanding through experience. It was huge to me. I am not dissing the idea of relationship; I am not condemning the use of the word to help Christians better understand the concept of life with GOD I am just blown away by the distinct reference He gave to us between relationship and TO KNOW. My favorite definition: to be able to distinguish and recognize as distinct and to discern the character or nature of. The Hebrew word for know, used most often in bible (no. 3045 in strongs) refers to know as to diligence, discover, and a familiar friend. God knows us; He knows every facade of our being. He loves us enough to know our aching for companionship and our want for a 48” HDTV. He wants to reveal himself to you. On a secular level, can you imagine if your favorite person of all time invited you to be his best friend? Lets say that bono (of U2, as if you didn’t know) walked up to your doorstep and said, “Ya know I think you are wonderful and I want us to become friends.” Now imagine for a long moment that the creator of the entire universe and beyond came to your front door and said that. Talk about being awe-struck, this is what bible study is all about, to come to an understanding of Jesus, and how He relates to me. How he relates to you. That is the vision that gives me hope, which is something I can share to the world. That is something everyone needs. Its sad when I get lost in all the religious jargon that I am not sure what my belief system is made up of. What does the term “saved” mean? Where did it come from? Sounds like a new word search!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep writing Chrissi. I have no idea why, but I am captivated. -L

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