relapse

my posts have been quite depressing lately, which bothers me because i am not one to be all that depressive. i feel much better now. i am not really worried about the whole moving thing anymore. i get all worked up over nothing sometimes, and i then i just have to take a deep breath and realize that God will take care of me. In my gut i will always know, He does not lead me into temptation, but He is the deliverer!! It is just a simple wrestling between my "true" heart and my worldly desires (and ultimately i always choose Him).
I have a vision, and i intend for it to become a reality. life is so much more complicated when your eyes are not fixed. I am a pretty simple person i think. i dont need much to be happy. just good friends and family and fun times. i am responsible enough to get my bills paid, but i dont stress over it, HE has always come through. i consider myself pretty laid back, i dont get worked over about much of anything...besides what i am truly passionate about.
i think i have come to this point in my life where i am sit of struggling with the same things over and over. i am sick of running away from everything. i want to get serious about my relationship with GOD, not for me, but for others. I want GOD to use me in incredible ways to speak into the lives of people, and lately i have felt so dry to speak at all. i love JESUS, with much of me. He still draws me closer and closer to Himself, which amazes me because it is not often, if ever, that you experience that kind of passion for your being. its hard when you live in a world with unreliable people and always seem to fail you to find a solice and a comfort in HIM. i find it very hard to trust HIM, and He is the creator of me...He desires to ill to me. It is just coming one step closer. When i realize that HE is all i need, then i can come to trust those around me. I come to be able to love them more deeply because i am not worried about the superfiscal things like "do they like me" "am i cool enough" "am i pretty enough" cause those things all fade away when the only person that really matters, is the one person that fills all those voids. I will never be perfect, i will never have it all figured out. I will have more days where i feel like i am lost and unguided. He is constantly guiding me, i just have to stop, be still and breathe.
c.ALIce
kudos for my friends that put up with my tantrums....GLORY TO GOD that HE puts up with all of me, all the time!!!

“Jesus, lover of my soul, stir up in us a spirit of rebeliion against evil. Give us a passion to fight for you, to fight for love and purity. Be a constant reminder in our hearts and minds that this life is about adventure. Let our passion be to YOU and YOUR will. Give us a surge in our souls to conquer over the things we struggle with, the things we hold on to. Be clear and concise. You are the mightiest of warriors, take each of us aside in a quiet place and motivate us, give us the pep talk we so desperately need. Your love is fantastic, adventurous and powerful. Grant us an experience with it, give us a taste. All glory to YOU because you are the author and finisher. All to you oh Lord…your lil princess.”