so yesterday i was really bad on my diet. didnt feel guilty. just felt like crap. watched super size me (the movie) and made some conscieous decisions in my head on how i would redeem myself in the morning (this morning). tiffany has been very patient through my hissy fits and melodramatic bitching about not getting the food i want. i got a package from my sisters which had natural cheetos, as you all know MY FAVORITE. not something that the drill sargent, which we will from here on out refer to as "tiffany" would approve of. so i was cautious, i had a cabinet with natural cheetos, chocolate, peppermint sticks. granted i very seldomly went to the cabinet, it still existed. at work, i would have one coke, to satisfy the urge and i figured that one rather than 4-6 was quite the accomplishment. i would eat the cheetos, but paid close attention, rather than having a full serving size, i would have 5-10 every once in a while, so in the midst of cheating the diet, i was being "good" about it.
so this morning i had decided that i was going to appease the idea of actually eating healthy for a couple weeks. to refrain my brain from thinking that cheetos, chocolate and coke are a necessity in life. woke up. went into the kitchen, opened the cabinet to rearrange so that it was not tempting (and to make sure that the cheetos would not go stale). and lo and behold it was all gone!!!
granted i am not too awake in the morning, but i knew i was aware enough....and i knew who did it. TIFFANY!!!
what did i do? well while my blood was boiling becasue she had had the GALL to mess with my stuff, and hid my favorite foods. contemplating in my head how i would address the situation...i just merely said "i appreciate your effort, but it is ultimately my decision." and took a shower. yes it bothered me that she hid my food, even though i had already decided to refrain from it...it was more of the fact that she made the decision for me. just bad timing. i totally understand why...and i asked her to help me and keep me on track so i cant really be mad and i am not mad. i just want to come to that point in my life to make a decision and not be forced into it...i am not retarded, i will figure it out eventually!!
i love tiff...she is definately helping.
her rebuttal: not in her right mind, she went out and found out that i was drinking coke at work (cause patrick and trina are good friends of hers), and basically conspired against me in an innebrated state. patrick was telling all kinds of lies about pizza..,I DID NOT EAT PIZZA!!! patrick and trina didnt know...just casually came up in conversation.
so tiffany thought i was trying to pull one over on her...not the case. just easier to drink coke at work because it is there, and i dont have to hear the "coke is super bad for you" speech. thanks tiffany for helping, love you girl.
it is ultimately my decision, as it is for everyone. so those of you struggling, change your mind about food. it is not a necessity to have certain foods, and healthy food is actually good. coke is bad for you. you dont have to eat an entire candy bar in one sitting...all you really want is the taste anyway, so all you need is a bite.
well that was the fun of my day so far. she did apologize (i forgot to say that) after work i am going to the gym then i am going out with vanessa..we are going to do something just not sure what yet.
love ya all
c.ALIce
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3 comments:
just wanted to give you props for being real with yourself about your diet and us as well. i hate the way i am right now, not b/c i'm a certain size, but b/c of how i feel and b/c of who i know myself to be. keep it up. you are inspiring me.
Hey...Tiff here. Just so you all know, I was SUPPOSED to be awake when she found the missing food...and I was going to say, "I will get them out if you want me to, it's totally your decision, but first I want to talk to you about it" (okay, still maybe not the best logic, but folks, it was 3 in the morning when I did it and a few too many vodka/soda's in)....I just wanted her to see that she wasn't tricking me...only herself. She WANTS to eat healthy. She is doing an amazing job and I'm so proud of her! It's hard to break bad habits, but she's working hard! So, all my drill seargeant-ing only comes from love.
i still love tiff and have no hard feelings...just want to make that clear
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