Destiny

I wanted to share this because i think its beautiful, awesome and proof of the fulfillment of my dreams:
I found this in my Bible, I knew it existed and actually read it to Nat months ago, but i thought i would share it with you. Maybe to boast of my joy or to encourage you in your struggle and disbelief that GOD IS GOOD. I made this list sitting in Longhorn with Christy Payne and her then current boyfriend Ty (this was about 5-6 years ago, i am actually in awe that it was that long ago myself)
CRITERIA TO BE WITH CHRISSI
1. Hippie Mentality (Philosopher)
a. Freebird/Laid Back
b. "unstable" (meaning that he would be open to new experiences and not stuck in a mundaness of a certain kind of life)
2. sarcasm (good)
3. Christian Leader (full of grace and servant hearted)
4. attractive (or i be attracted to)
5. Good sense of humor
6. Faithful and Trustworthy
7.Honest and Open communication
8. Integrity-does what he says he is gonna do
9.Comfortable to open up to
10.makes people feel good, friendly and outgoing
11. undecisive about children (although we are currently decisive)
12. sense of style, but not gay
13. creative and appreciates my art
14. encourages me through my doubts
15. open-minded and accepting of individuality
16. able to re-create self image
17. affectionate, but not a foundation of intimacy
18. respects my inner convictions
19. "wants to know the book that is 'chrissi'"
20. no baggage
21. considerate...call, call, call
22. confidence
23. romantic and has element of surprize
24. simplicity of life and goes with the flow
25.able to walk through conflicts.

Nat meets ALL these requirements and exceeds my expectations in many and more areas. I really do love this man. I really do believe he was created just for me. I dont think i have ever been happier in life and in a place in life where i felt free to be me totally exposed and vulnerable.

Just thought i would share...
Love you all
Mrs. P

Official

today i went to get my Illinois license. Its official, I am Mrs. Pflederer and a legal resident of Illinois...even registered to VOTE!! yeah like thats going to happen. I must say though, that its the best license picture i have ever had (passport pics do me NO justice). So needless to say I had a beautiful day =)

love you all
Mrs. P

few pics

Life has been crazy busy, here are a couple pics for your viewing pleasure.






Mrs. P

New Phone Number!!

Hey, I am diving into my new life and in the process i figure i needed to change my phone number as well. I sent a text message to most of you, and i will send an email. I would put it here but who knows what kind of calls i would get!
If you didnt get the number and would like it, please leave me a comment or an email and i will send it to you!!

love you all

btw the fence building is going along great! We have dug all the post holes and set all teh posts (except 2). I really think we may get it done this week. OH FUN!!!

later
Chrissi Pflederer

Hello Mrs. Pflederer

well, i must say, it doesnt feel like i am married somedays, but it does other days. Life is somewhat back to normal. I am finally home and things are settling down. We are trying to figure out how we are going to build our fence. I say 4 foot, he says 6 foot. Who knows what we will end up with. I am trying to get the house in order, that is an adventure---let me tell you!! i figured i would do some spring cleaning and get it out of the way as we are putting new things away and going through all things. I am not supposed to be working right now but i figure i can get some stuff done. I am trying to organize my life again. Married life is great. feels a little different but overall about the same. anyway, i need to get some stuff done.
love you all
c.ALIce Pflederer

how to deal

i am not even sure what to write about because so many things are not running through my head. Its like i am forgetting to think, which is nice for the time. It has been the longest week of my life. It definately puts life in perspective a little bit. If you didnt know (although i am sure that everyone reading this knows) my dad passed away on wednesday night, surrounded by people that truly loved him. the funeral was yesterday and it was so nice. I think once again we did our daddy proud. he was always laid back and fun-loving and we couldnt possibly have a stoic funeral. i got a call from the lady that was making my wedding cakes that she was unable to do them, so yall will have to deal with whatever i come up with. I think my wedding day will be the hardest and the most joyest day of my life. I cant imagine looking into Nat's eyes and saying "till death do us part" after going through that reality right now. I worry for my mom, i pray she will be ok. She is strong but also has had dad there to take care of her and be her confidant since she was 19. can you imagine? 40 years of marriage?!?! I hope Nat and I live that long to see that.
I think I am still numb. Although i dont think i am avoiding dealing with it. i have such a peace of heart that i almost feel guilty. its like i have dealt with it and now its just a reality. i do have my mini crying spells, when i think about what he will miss out on (our weddings, grandkids, etc etc), but I also know that he was ready to go. There is an amazing comfort when you know that it is not forever. I love hearing the stories about how he influenced so many peoples lives. Its encouraging because i want to strive even more to be everything i can be in the lives of the people around me.
we have recieved support from so many people. moms family, dads family, nats family, employers and friends. I really am in awe of the respect and admiration people have for him, but also that people would see those traits in me, my sisters, my mom and even Nat in such a way that they support us although they never met him.
i am most sad that he didnt have the oppurtunity to meet the new family i have. i wish they could have at least experienced him for one day and could have seen what a strong and wonderful ( or rather good, good) man he was. But most of all for them to see our love for each other and have first hand accounts of his wit and humor. that saddens me. i really wanted to share him with them, they would have loved him too!
thanks to all of you that hurt with us and send your love towards us and him through prayers and thoughts and mutual sympathies. you truly are part of the family, and i would have it no other way. i love you all dearly!!
so we will see how i handle that day, the day a little girl wants her daddy there, but still wants to celebrate that she has someone that loves her (almost) as much as he did. I am thrilled that dad had the oppurtunity to meet Nat and approve him. It will be a bittersweet day.
love you all
see you soon!
Chrissi (soon to be) Pflederer

looky looky what i did

http://natandchrissi.blogspot.com

If you have any suggestions, let me know!

and i say..slacker

Nat reminded me that i havent written in over a month. Not that he really needs to know whats going on in my life. He is my life....
had a fantastic valentines day. first time i have ever had a boyfriend (more or less a fiancee). i got flowers and a card.
we decided to sell the house, making a more of an effort. we have an open house and are painting and getting it ready. we had one promising showing the other day,but who knows with those.
i love nat
wedding plans are going well. i am relocating to cincinnati to expedite the process. i am anxious to get there. i would like to leave this weekend, but Nat doesnt want me to yet. I have so much to do...its crazy. Planning a wedding (or rather a reception) is a PAIN!! i just want to get it done, and the sooner the better. i just need to relax i guess.
counseling is going well. i like it, it does bring up things to talk about. i am anxious for the next meeting on thursday.
thats it. i dont have much else i can think about to talk about. i am tired.

later loves
chrissi

Not Much

Nothing too exciting going on these days. I have been working alot because they keep giving me projects, which isnt necessarily bad, but i dont know when to stop working i think. The puppies have been really good. I have them on a feeding schedule because Etta has to take medicine with food and thats the only way I can force her to eat. It helps tremendously in the potty training efforts. Its actually quite amazing. I can tell when they need to go out and what they are going to do. Dogs are amazing creatures of habit, which is nice.
Nat, of course, is wonderful. I am getting hounded by my sisters to register, i have a had time with that. Nat will have to help me.
anyway, i gotta go back to work, just wanted to let you know that there is nothing interesing going on here. If i remember though, i wll tell you about my computer dramas!!

love you
c.ALIce

Counseling

So we went to counseling tonight. I was expecting something totally different. We talked about how we met and our current situation. After the session, we set up a meeting for next week. He asked us if we have any more question for him and Nat asked him what his impression of us was and he said that we have a cool vibe about us and a real warmth. oh, that made my day!! its great for an outsider to see that. i was so proud. Nat was telling him how we met and how he "fell madly in love with me" and know he would spend the rest of his life with me. I was just sitting there in awe, wow, he really does love me deeply. I know he loves me, and i love him... yet it is so sweet and touching to hear him proclaim it without reservation to a complete stranger. Just thought i would share out counseling experience.

c.ALIce

yeah yeah i know i know

Ok i think i have finally come up with a time slot to write a little bit. Actually i am sorta fed up with work so i am taking a break (although i am on hour 9 of my 8 hour day). Its lonely this week without Nat. Granted i dont really hang out with him 24/7 when he is in town, but i think because he is not here, i want him more. I love him so much.
Etta. She is quite the little trooper. Last friday i was letting the girls in from being outside on the chain. They usually run right into the house, but this time they decided to run around the house. About the 3rd time trying to get them to stop and go inside i heard the screech and painful cry. Of course it was etta because she is always the one getting hurt. Its about 3pm, and i dont have a car so i call Nat like 10 times. then i make my way upstairs (etta in arms with a blood-soaked towel) and type to him on instant messenger. I am sure he was thinking..yeah right, she's kidding, but i assure you, etta and me were in no mood to joke. He called his dad (ohmigod why didnt i think of that?). Ken (aka dad) got there and drove me to the vet. Everyone there was so cool, and of course etta is adorable so its not like you can blame her. she opened up her leg, from the inner hip to the paw, bone exposed. Luckily there was no damage to her lungs or bladder or any broken bones. She went home a couple hours later and then went back Saturday am to sew her up. They only sewed up 50% of the gash...apparently dogs heal really well with growing new tissue and all. She has been back once since and i have to go in tomorrow to change her bandages. shes got one of those cone things to put on her head, but its impossible because sadie likes to attack it...go figure. SHe has been really good though, becoming quite the cuddling mommas girl. she sleeps at my feet while i work, oh so cute. she lays on my toes and grunts alot (but etta has always grunted alot)
Wedding. So i hear that my plans are confusing. yeah well, i have never planned a wedding before. Hopefully theses are the final plans...basically a little change of terminology to limit the confusion. May 20th, 2006. There will be a FAMILY ONLY LUNCHEON. Basically Nat and I feel that our immediate families are very important to us, and if we are to be married, it is ultimately a uniting of our lives and the lives of our families. So its a sacred time for our parents and siblings to bond (cause we know they will love each other). That is what it is. ITs not a ceremony/exchange of vows, its allowing our families to unite. We will get married most likely at the justice of peace or something, nothing fancy or elaborate...we havent figured that out yet. The reception is at cheryls house in monroe, hor'duerves and casual dress. Dont freak out about getting all dressed up (cause as carol reminded me, we are not a group like that). it will be like a birthday party, but better. I think Nat and I have decided to set time aside to allow people to toast us...or have a video-guest book, so i can watch it when i am down and need love. the reception in Illinois is the next weekend and all of you are more than welcome to coem to that as well. Receptions are open, carefree and laid back...what made me think to make it anything less than that??
so that being said. i would still need photographers on sat afternoon for couple/family pictures around cincy, so you are still invited to do that. anyone that is interested in that...cindy, kate, sa, beck....anyone, it could be a fun day of modeling and having fun and goofing off before teh reception (hopefully spending the day around town will take teh awkwardness off of the reception...little bonding (you with them).
i think thats it
i gotta go meet Hope (aka mom) for dinner.
love you all
sorry for all the confusion.

another will be post

nat and i talked about our wedding plans and i think we finally figured out what we are going to do...and basically it all boiled down to terminology."

ill write about that later

and etta, surgery went great...she will have to go back in 2 weeks to get stitches out.

later loves

My baby got hit by a car

ill tell you the story later...but she is ok. SHe has surgery tomorrow to stitch up her leg...going to missouri tomorrow...will write on sunday and monday what happened.

love you
chrissi

poker night and everything else

ever since i got to tremont, we have poker nights at one of nat's friends house. Its $20 for poker, pizza, fun and beer (i am glad no one is irresponsible in that regard, its a mature crowd). I go, have some fun and hope that nat wins the big pot. last night i was fantastic. out of 24 people i made 4th place, and won $35! Hey better than nothing. i think i could've gone all the way, but one of my last hands wiped me out. it was tons of fun! i have a feeling its goin to be a slow weekend. I have lots of work to do that i dont really want to do. I have to decide if i can go to arkansas next week...I have been getting alot more work and i fear that if i go i will lose out on some cash, yet in a sense it is a business venture (sarah is going to help me with my websites) and it would be better than sitting around here without nat around. we are going to branson missouri regardless and arkansas is only 3 hour drive to sarah. I also would have to take my laptop, which tends to slow my work down because it takes a bit for it to recongnize what i am doing (but it is better). I dunno what to do. I hate to board the dogs in a kennel...but i can only hope that it would help potty train them! OH that is so frustrating! I would like to have people over and play cards and have dinner but i cant bring myself to invite people into a house that smells like urine and poop. We did clean the carpet on monday while they were at the clinic, and it definately helped, but its like outside is to play, inside is to potty. anyone have any suggestions? i am going to start beating them!
Work is going well. I have been busy this week with a couple different projects, i hope to get them all done this weekend so i can start new ones on monday. So its getting better, and i am getting better. i still have a long way to go, but i am at least making progress daily. Levi is talking about flying me down again for training. I learn alot more when i am down there, but dread spending the week at his house. its ALL work, and no play, very boring i must say. I guess i have to if he wants me to though. I feel better about making him put out the cash because 1. i know he is making it 2. i know i am helping him make it. 3. it will be better to see hands on than from afar. all in good time.
i think i decided for the bachlorette party to paint pottery. I think there is a place in old mason but am not sure. also, does anyone have any friends that just got married and still have their decorations? id rather not go buy them, id rather just borrow them.
The wedding plans are coming along nicely. I have been horrible about the losing weight aspect. I try not to get mad at myself and make it worse, but to actually get into gear. Apparently i dont want it that bad! I see myself falling into trends that if i dont stop them now, i will have to deal with for the rest of my life. i found my dress and it is beautiful. i think its exactly what i was looking for.
I NEED ADDRESSES!!! One person has sent me their address. Please dont assume i have it becasue i sent you something in the mail...i lost my address book so i have none, except for becky because she actually sent me hers! (alycepaige@yahoo.com) I really cant do anything without them.
for the ceremony and reception i need the following volunteers
1. Set up at ceremony
2. Break down at ceremony
3. Decorate for Reception
4. Organize bachlorette party
5. Break down decorations at reception
6. photographers
7. video cameras (and someone/persons to man them)
8. advice on how to do the ceremony
9. Organize Personal Shower
10. Alter my dress (once i get it)
11. I am sure there is something i am missing
I want you (katie, becky, sarah r, cindy, kadie, sarah c, amber, carol, cheryl, moms, emma, jen(ny), danielle, nessa, abbi and steph, etc etc) to help and be apart, but I dont want to assign duties because i want you to do it out of your own generous heart, not because you feel obligated.
I could have more than one party, honestly i dont know how to plan a wedding or pre-wedding stuff. someone was saying that personal showers are for "personal stuff" from friends...so pampered chef party? I dont know what i am doing...some have you all have been married...any ideas? i want to be able to have as many parties in cinci as possible (gives me an excuse to coem down and see you guys).
i am letting ruth ann take care of most everything here, and probably nats mom will help too, and ken aka "dad".
i love you all, please dont ever doubt that. regardless of how much we talk or dont talk, everyone of you is dear dear dear to my spirit (to spirit because the heart is fickle, you all are sewn into my very being!!)
anyway, i need to get some work done. call me...
later
c.ALIce

today

yesterday we finally got the girls home. 2 days without them were very lonely. I am glad to have them back, even if its just to lay around and sleep. They are not supposed to play much, and honestly i dont think they have the energy. I am scared to pick them up and play with them, that i might hurt them. I guess being dogs though, they are resilent.
last night i went to paint pottery with nat's mom. I thought that might be a cute idea for my bacholorette party. Get teh girls together, go out to dinner (or take sandwiches to pottery place) and have each of my friends make me a small plate for my kitchen. Cindy gave me an idea to go to a spa, but i am not sure that many people can afford the $150. Id like to make it where we can spend some quality time together and have some fun. maybe go dancing or something afterwards...harmless fun!
i have decided, in a effort to help cheryls pampered chef business, that i am going to do a pampered chef personal shower. I dunno how that is supposed to work, and i am not sure thats what i am supposed to do. But hey, stuff for the kitchen, and being that i am really starting to love to cook..why not. plus its two birds with one stone.
If you have any other ideas, let me know. Please keep the days open because i would love for all my friends to come (near and far).
tonight we have dinner with ruth ann and mike. it should be fun. I like them. They are nats cousins (mike, his wife).
anyway, i gotta get back to work
love ya

my little girls

Etta and Sadie went today to get spayed. I miss the little babes. They have been fighting alot lately, within the last week it has really escalated. Sadie sleeps behind the bed and cant stand to be near Etta. Yet sometimes they are perfectly fine. I am not really sure who to blame, honestly i think they are both at fault. If it continues, we might be forced to give one away. Etta was my birthday present and my dog, Sadie, well Nat is in love with her and claims her undoubtably. I hope it doesnt have to come down to having to give one up. It breaks my heart to see them fight, and i miss them terribly today while they are away. I dont want to give them up. I was thinking, if we had children, and they fought all the time, would you put one up for adoption...doubtful. And they are out little girls...i dont want to be put in a position to make that decision. Hopefully the spaying will help and not make it worse.
Other side of life. Work is going well. Last week I finally got to a point where I was making acceptable progress and money. Hard work none the less, but rewarding with a nice paycheck.
Nat is wonderful
Wedding plans are somewhat stressful. I felt trapped that i had to do it a certain way in order to make everyone happy, once i put that aside and decided what i wanted, its a lot less of a headache. I do need addresses though..everyones!!! so email them to me. (alycepaige@yahoo.com)...I gotta get on the ball with invitation design and getting everything ready. The date is May 20th, reception at cheryls house in monroe, and somewhat of a black tie affair (not prom dresses and tuxedos, but nice dresses and suits)..thats the plan anyway. So please send me your addresses.
SAVE THE DATES!!
Personal Bridal shower (Cincinnati)...March 18th
Bachlorette Party (Cincinnati)....April 29th

Does anyone want to help me plan? I cant do this on my own and i would like for my girls to be involved. Email me and let me know if you have any ideas or want to help organize. I am totally at a loss when it comes to really planning anything. Thanks.
Planning on going to Arkansas the last week of January to visit Sarah Craynon. It should be fun if it works out the way i want it to.
I havent been too much in the conversating mood lately. Sorry to those that have to suffer my apathy. Just had a lot on my mind, lotsa work and been really tired.
Anyway, Love you all!!
c.ALIce

Oh to be in love

Oh to be in love. How romantic movies have such a different meaning. How life changes, grey always has a shade of blue in it. How did i get so incredibly blessed? What did i ever do in life to have the ultimate priviledge to be loved like i am loved. Its like God made me like a puzzle piece and he made Nat to fit snuggly with me so perfectly. The way he pushes me so gently for me to go towards my goals and dreams. How he is keeps me accountable yet not in a dominating or controlling way. I am sure we have/will have our issues and problems. But who can treat me in such a way where exposing every aspect of myself, good and bad, could feel so safe. I love the way he deals with me, the way he talks to me, the way he gets me to talk, when his sixth sense tells him i really need someone to pull it out. Its like he read the book that is Chrissi, highlighted the most important parts and understood the context. There is no other way to describe it but miraculous.
I wish that I was near you all, that you could witness the truth of the matter. I know that it must be difficult to look in from the outside and not be here to see up close the dynamics of the life we lead. To look from afar and be separate in a sense. I feel as if my entire life has led me to this moment. Every step, struggle and new thought and adventure has bought me to this point in life. Who would I be if i didnt pursue something that i believed in. Would i not still be continuing to run away from my true identity?
What do i want to accomplish in life? What are my true desires? How can one possibly find a partner if they dont have a real idea of who they are? Maybe its not "finding" who you are, maybe its the gift of having the "freedom" to be who you are. For example, I didnt want to bear children or have a family till i met Nat. i was too much of a "free spirit" to stay in one place (especially one as dull as tremont). As a defense i convinced myself of my parental inadequacy. Now, I am somewhat anxious. Its like all teh lies have i been living all the false pretenses i portrayed were erased. Somehow I was free to be me. i didnt have to pretend to be a hardass. I dont know how he did it, but he saved me. He allowed me to be who i was without judgement or assumptions, but with acceptance and support. I guess over time and through my experiences I grew hard that "love" or hope of a future mate could happen. I doubted my worth to be taken care of and loved by any man. I resisted trusting anyone (even those closest to me) becasue it didnt hurt as bad when they rejected my alter ego-that meant my heart was safe-but slowly dying inside. Its strange, sometimes you can get so accustomed to living a lie, it becomes truth. I know what it is like to live a lie. There is a hidden weight there, a burden to carry, most people dont ever realize it. The beauty of it is that when it is gone, there is no denying that its gone. I am living in peace, beauty and security. That is a gift from God. And funny that it is the meaning of his name.

MUST READ

yesterday we went to his aunt and uncles (jim and jackie) with grandma and grandpa, my favorite cousin mike, his wife ruth ann and nats dad. it was great. we had fondue. a chocolate fondue fountain with bananas, oranges, angel food cake, marshmellows. then we have fondue with steak, chicken and shrimp. it was great. sat around and talked, didnt seem awkward at all. when we got there i was greeted with hugs and merry christmas' ruth ann gave me a hug then went straight to my left hand and felt around. i laughed and said "its not there yet" i thought it was humorous.
after we left we went home and sat around. i continued my three day project of cleaning and reorganizing and he relaxed. Later we were playing with the dogs, and i noticed that etta didnt have her collar. my first thought was that sadie had pulled it off of her and it was lying around somewhere, so i went looking for it upstairs. Nat yells up that he had found it and etta comes running upstairs with her collar on, and an added bonus. it was so cute. then he got on one knee and officially asked me. of course i said yes. then he said "are you sure" and i bought out my little black book that i have been keeping. it lists 100+ reasons why i love him, mainly the little thoughttful things he does (that he doesnt even realize). it was very cute, i loved it. my ring is breathtaking. i can hardly stop looking at it.
so now it is official!! i am officially engaged and officially planning for a wedding in May (family only) and a reception. who knows how it will really end up though.
of course i have some pictures for you. what fun would it be with out them.



MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL. LOVE YOU
C.ALICE

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christmas has been wonderful to me. i wish i could give more to those around me, but i tried to give as much as i could with what i have. there will be a post very soon....a long one!!
c.ALIce

pics